Love at First Sight
by Melanie Geller
Summary: FINISHED. Love: You just never know what you're getting yourself into...(R and R)
1. Strangers in the Night

Hi everyone! I've decided to write a Christmasy story involving Ross and Rachel. It won't all take place on Christmas, but it will still serve the purpose. Let me know if I should continue this. I only have the first two chapters written. This is pretty much a total romance piece, with some drama to a certain extent. (If those darn writers would give us some more R/R interaction, I wouldn't have to do this! ;)) So please let me know what you think. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Never have, never will. But I do own the drunk man at the bar! ;)  
  
In the small town of Mercyville, Pennsylvania, snow descends softly on the silent streets below. Certain flakes, illuminated by the street lights, seem to sparkle more than others. There is a magical feeling in the air, on that can only occur once a year: Christmastime. Inside the quaint country houses, families celebrate the holiday that is Christmas Eve. Not a soul is outside. Not a soul except for a young woman of about twenty-five. Her honey-blond hair is half-hidden by a silken scarf, and her softer than silk cream colored leather jacket engulfed her.   
  
When she steps out into the street lights, the expression on her face is captured perfectly. Her crystal clear blue eyes have a lack of sparkle, but give the impression that happiness was once shining in those eyes. Just light like a light bulb that once gave light, her eyes give the impression that they are all burnt out. She continues to walk, quicker now, as the wind picks up. Her eyes flicker towards the sky for a split second. Her brow furrows, and her eyes close tightly. If anyone were outside, they would be under the impression that she was making a wish. As her eyes were shut and head towards the sky, a big gust of wind picked up. The snow swirled in circles around her now, faster than it ever had before. In the sky, a single star shined brighter than them all. As the girl opened her eyes, the star seemed to wink at her. A second later, the moment was gone.   
  
She hurried out of the light and headed into the only store open on Main Street. It was a coffee shop/ restaurant/ bed and breakfast. The small coffee shop section had about four tables with comfortable looking, worn looking chairs. A tired looking old man sat behind the counter, looking half asleep. The only other person in there was a man also looking half asleep at the bar with five bottles of beer surrounding him.   
  
"Nice", she thought.   
  
The young woman entered the multi-purpose shop. She was greeted by the soft sound of a tinkling bell, reminding her of happier Christmas times back home. She approached the man behind the counter.  
  
"Hi, I'd like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows please."  
  
Her request was greeted with a grunt from the man who was clearly not pleased to have been awaken by this stranger. She went to sit down at one of the tables by the window. As she rested her head in her hands, she noticed something happening outside.  
  
A young man with soft brown hair and an equally soft brown leather jacket came walking out across the street. As his features lit up underneath that same street light, the young woman at the table couldn't help but gasp. He was gorgeous. Even from a distance, she could tell that his eyes were a soft, yet brilliant, brown. As he also looked up towards the sky, he noticed the same winking star that she had. Just like her eyes, his seemed to lack that sparkle that once shined vividly.  
  
She was taken aback by this haunting image until she realized that she too possessed this same noticeable lack of happiness. As he entered the coffee shop, the same bell tinkled. He went to the same counter and also ordered a hot chocolate- with marshmallows.   
  
She was quite intrigued by this other person who was also spending Christmas Eve alone, and never took her eyes off him in the minutes in which he was ordering his hot chocolate. For a moment, he glanced over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of the beautiful woman staring at him.   
  
In that second that their eyes locked, both felt a spark of electricity shoot through the air. She abruptly turned her head towards the window. She could see his reflection.   
  
"He's coming over here," she thought with a frantic panicking at the event that she had instigated. Her breathing became faster, her thoughts jumbled.   
  
As he walked towards her, he couldn't help but wonder what on Earth he was doing. It had been so long...and it was so unlike him to just waltz up to any old woman. But yet, he continued on. In that moment that their eyes had met, the two strangers had experienced an almost unreal sensation; an incredible phenomenon. He, and she, had both felt a connection, and yet they hadn't even spoken to each other.   
  
Yet it just felt right.  
  
So, as he was only a foot from her table, he asked a complete stranger something he never dared to ask before.  
  
"Can I sit down?"  
  
She smiled, and for the first time in a very long while, her eyes held the slightest hint of the sparkle they once held.  
  
"Sure"  
  
He pulled up his chair across from her's and smiled.   
  
"I'm Ross"  
  
She looked out the window. The snow was falling slower now and it seemed like the whole world had drifted into a tranquil slumber. She could tell her night was going to get a lot more interesting.   
  
"I'm Rachel."  
  
Little did they know, after this day, their lives would never be the same again...  
  
TBC??? Let me know if you guys like this. Please review! :) Any ideas, comments, criticism, complements are welcome. Heck, just come and leave your name so I know people are reading what I write! :) Thanks! Let me know if this is worth continuing. 


	2. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

Hi everybody! Here is chapter two, I hope you like it. My dumb computer was acting up and not letting me do italics for some reason so the song is not in italics, it is in these thingys: '....' I hope it's not too confusing and I'm sorry. :) Chapter three should be up soon. Any ideas or comments welcome. Oh, and the other friends will appear in the next chapter. Enjoy!   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the friends or the song 'Have yourself a merry little Christmas. If I did, I wouldn't have to sit here writing stories about them...  
  
"So Ross, what's your story?"  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
  
  
She smiled. "If you haven't noticed, we're the only people here and alone on Christmas Eve."  
  
"Well, it's kind of hard to explain," he replied.  
  
"I'm all ears."  
  
~*Flashback*~ Five years ago, Mercyville, Penn.  
  
"Mom, I'm leaving," cried out Ross Geller from his bedroom.  
  
  
  
Today was the day he would move away from home and start a life out on his own. His lifelong dream of becoming a palentoligist was about to be fufilled. His flight to Sedona, Arizona left in one hour. His parents were in tears, especially his mother Judy. His father Jack was sad to see his son leave home, yet was too proud to display his emotions publicly.   
  
His younger sister Monica approached him. "Ross?"  
  
He looked up. "Yeah, Mon?"  
  
"Why do you have to leave me here with them?"  
  
"I'm sorry Mon, I'm moving. It was bound to happen sometime."  
  
"But they hate me! When you leave, my life will become a living Hell!"  
  
"Come on Monica, it's not that bad. They love you and you know it."  
  
"I'm not saying that they don't love me, but with you gone, they'll have no reason to put on a show and pretend to treat us equally."  
  
He glanced at his watch. "Look, Mon. I gotta go. I'll call you when I get to Sedona."  
  
When he looked up, he noticed that she was in tears. "I just can't believe you're leaving," she said through tears. "You've always been there for me. You're my only brother! Even though it may not seem like it sometimes I-I lo-love you."  
  
"Aw, Mon." He hugged her with his free arm, as his other arm was carrying his weather worn suitcase.  
  
Her tears were falling harder and much freer now. "The minute I finish high school, I'm outta here! I'm so sick of living in this boring town it's not even funny! I just want out, Ross. It's like a prison here. A prison with no escape..."  
  
Ross chuckled at how dramatic his baby sister could be sometimes. "Alright. Now I really have to go now. I'll see you on Christmas."  
  
Slowly, he walked away leaving her behind. It was the last time he would see his sister.  
  
~*Present Day*~  
  
"So what, she died?" asked Rachel.  
  
He shook his head. "No. Well, we hope not. Like she promised, she moved to New York. After a big falling out with my parents, she lost touch with me also. So every Christmas, I come back to old Mercyville, and she stays in New York, I guess. Every time I try to get in contact with her, she never returns my calls. Three years ago, I just gave up. So now every Christmas it's just me and my parents."  
  
"That's so sad," she said. "It's just terrible how families fall apart and lose touch. Especially around the holidays. You should call her one day."  
  
"Yeah, maybe I will." He glanced at his left wrist where his expensive gold watch rested. "But right now, it's nine-o-clock in Mercyville, and my parents are both asleep. There's nothing to do in this Godforsaken town, so I came here. I didn't expect to run into such a charming stranger."  
  
The corners of Rachel's mouth twitched up. "Thanks. And in all fairness, I must say that you are equally charming."  
  
He smiled. "So, where are you from Rachel-I don't think I caught your last name..."  
  
"Green. Rachel Green. And I don't believe you told me yours either."  
  
"Geller. Ross Geller. Do you realize that we have the same initials?"  
  
"That's interesting," she remarked. "I'm from San Diego. I'm actually on my way to New York. I'm moving there. I want to work in fashion."  
  
"San Diego, huh? Don't get much snow there do you?"  
  
"No, not really. It's amazing, though. The snow, I mean. It's so beautiful."  
  
"As are you," Ross said flirtasiously.  
  
She blushed a deep magenta. "Thank you, that's very sweet."  
  
'What am I doing?', thought Ross. 'I'm pouring my heart out to this stranger, all the while flirting with her. This is so unlike me!'  
  
'Oh my God!', thought Rachel. 'This guy is such a flirt!'  
  
  
  
But as she looked deep into his puppy-dog like eyes, she had to admit that she really didn't mind.  
  
  
  
They continued to talk for hours. They talked and talked, until the dark blanket that engulfed the sky at night started to give way to a brilliant sunrise. Solitary rays shined through the few wispy clouds resting high in the morning sky. Pinks and oranges and the occasional blues graced the sky with their presence on Christmas morning. In the distance, the sound of bells could be heard, marking the fact that this was a special, magical day. It was the one day of the year in which anything was possible and miracles occured.  
  
  
  
The light shined through the window of the coffee house, revealing a sleeping Ross and Rachel. Through the hours, their chairs had somehow moved closer together, until they were joined as one. They had fallen into a deep slumber.  
  
  
  
Her head was resting on his shoulder, and his arms rested on her stomach and legs. Their breathing was in perfect unison. They both breathed in and out at the same speed. They were in the type of sleep that it is almost impossible to be roused from.   
  
  
  
The bartender approached the sleeping twosome. He growled. "You two, it's time to get up! You've been here all night. Go home!"  
  
  
  
With that, he pulled both of them out of their chairs and ushered them towards the door. "Bye now!" And then he shut the door and put up the wooden sign that read 'Closed'.  
  
  
  
Once outside, Ross and Rachel started laughing uncontrollably.  
  
"Can you believe that we were thrown out of a coffee house?" laughed Rachel. "I can honestly say that I never expected to have this much fun. I just expected to drive on through this town without a second thought. I never realized that I would have a good time. Thank you, Ross."  
  
  
  
"You're welcome. Listen, do you have to start driving again yet? It's Christmas and..." Ross's voice trailed off.  
  
She grinned. "Of course I'll stay. Just let me get changed into something else."  
  
"Now why would you do that?" he asked. "You look gorgeous! Here, I have an idea. Follow me."  
  
Ross reached for Rachel's hand, and led her across the road. On the other side, stood a wide clearing, frosted with a thick layer of snow, much like icing on a birthday cake. The tiny crystals glittered like millions of diamonds in the sun.  
  
Ross looked into Rachel's eyes.   
  
  
  
"Where are we?" she asked. "What are we doing?"  
  
With a smile he said, "Let me show you..."  
  
'Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
  
Let your heart be light…'  
  
"Let's make a snowman," he said.  
  
She giggled. "A snowman!?"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She couldn't think of a reason, so with a smile, she bent down and began to pack snow tightly between her gloved hands.  
  
'From now on, our troubles  
  
will be out of sight....'  
  
He stooped down to help her, his hand closing over hers as he helped her make the snowman's head.  
  
'Have yourself a merry little Christmas  
  
Make the Yule-tide gay,  
  
From now on, our troubles will be miles away...'  
  
Snow had begun to fall again. The flakes came down in soft sprinkles at first. One white snowflake in particular sat atop the tip of Rachel's nose. There it rested in all its perfectness. Ross saw this and smiled.  
  
"Come here," he said.  
  
He took his thumb and gently brushed the snowflake away. She looked up into his deep brown eyes. Her blue ones sparkled for the first time in a long time.   
  
'Here we are as in olden days,  
  
Happy Golden days of Yore.  
  
Faithful friends who are dear to us  
  
gather near to us  
  
once more...'  
  
Snow came down in heavier flakes now. Winds were picking up, yet they didn't seem to mind.  
  
  
  
As they stood back to admire their snowman, Ross felt something hit him in the back of his head. As he felt the back of his head, wondering what he had been hit with, he heard a small chuckle from behind.   
  
  
  
Trying to supress her giggles, Rachel said, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist. You were standing there with this look of pride on your face at the snowman. You just looked so silly!"  
  
Ross pretended to be mad. "Well, then I guess you won't mind when I do this!" He threw a snowball at her chest.   
  
She pretended right back. "Did you just throw a snowball at me?"  
  
"I believe I did. Why? Does that make you angry?"  
  
"A little bit," she said with a mischevious grin.  
  
He turned away and pretended to leave. In the few seconds that his back was turned, Rachel ran towards him and playfully tackled him from behind.   
  
"I got you!" she cried gleefully.  
  
He rolled her over on her back and started tickling her.   
  
  
  
"Hey! No fair!" she screamed out. "You're so much bigger than me. I should be the one tickling you! Roll over, Buddy!"  
  
He let her roll him over. Ross was lying on top of a blanket of snow. On top of him rested Rachel. She seemed to have forgotten her task: tickling. The world fell silent and it felt like they were the only two people on Earth.  
  
She moved her head in closer to his and placed her lips upon his. Their first kiss was like magic. Snow swirled around them as they lay in the snow together.  
  
'Through the years we all will be together  
  
if the Fates allow.  
  
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.  
  
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now...'  
  
They broke apart long enough to breathe.   
  
  
  
"Merry Christmas, Ross Geller," whispered Rachel.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Rachel Green."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The day after Christmas, Rachel found herself waking up in an unfamilar hotel room.   
  
  
  
'Oh my God,' she thought. 'I slept with him! I don't even know if what we had even qualifies as a date!'  
  
She slowly eased herself out of the bed.  
  
'Oh, please don't wake up. Please don't wake up...'  
  
She grabbed her clothes off the floor and recalled the night before. It had been wonderful, she remembered. So why was she leaving without saying goodbye?  
  
'It was rushed. Just a one night fling. It was fun, but it's time to move one. Rachel, you need to get to New York before the new year. Just leave. So what if you never see him again?'  
  
Yet she knew she didn't mean that. She glanced over at him sleeping so peacefully. His arm was draped over the empty spot where Rachel had layed seconds before.  
  
  
  
She had always been a big believer in fate. It it was meant to be, it was meant to be and there was no stopping it. He just lived too far away, and nothing added up.  
  
  
  
'Maybe it's just not meant to be,' she thought sadly. 'If it is meant to be, I will see him again. And if I see this man again, then it will be a miracle.'  
  
With one last glance at him, she put on her clothes and quietly tiptoed out the door into the clear morning light and out of Ross's life.   
  
TBC...  
  
So that was chapter two. Will Ross and Rachel ever meet up again? It was hard for me to pull them apart like that but hey, I couldn't exactly let them be happy now could I? That's just too much trouble! ;) Please review! 


	3. Hello, New York!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. They all belong to Bright, Kauffman, and Crane, who are by the way geniuses! ;)  
  
A/N: This chapter was SO long, that I had to split it up into two parts. I want to have this done before Christmas, so I had to post this chapter now. It would take me too long to type. So this is the first part. Rachel is mainly featured in it. I really wanted to post this as one, but it would get too long, and then people probably wouldn't read it. But I really like the second part. It gets good, trust me! Let me know what you think!   
  
Chapter Three  
  
Driving down the lonley roads, a feeling of depression came over Rachel. 'Well, here it is again,' she thought. 'Here is my depressing life. I should have at least said goodbye. That was the best Christmas I ever had,'she thought sadly.  
  
  
  
That night, she arrived in New York. The lights were just starting to turn on, and the city became alive. She parked her car in an almost empty parking garage and gathered her belongings. Her arms were completley full as she was walking down the streets of New York. In her hands, she held a map that was supposed to get her to the apartment building she would be staying in. It was cheap and run-down, but better than nothing.   
  
After walking for five minutes, she was relieved to see the building up ahead. 'Almost there,'she thought. It was a good thing, too. She wasn't in a very good area and people on the streets were starting to make remarks at her.  
  
'Wooo-woo!' exclaimed a homeless man with no teeth. 'I'd like to get a piece of that!'  
  
Rachel picked up her pace. The building was nearer now. In the distance, she heard a gunshot go off, dogs bark, and glass break. The skies were filled with smog. She began running now, hardly able to see where she was going. She was almost there. She still ran, and looked to the side where the apartment complex stood. On it hung a sign that read, 'Closed for Renovation'.  
  
  
  
Rachel groaned, but kept running. She didn't want to be in this neighborhood any longer. What she didn't notice was that there was someone in front of her. She accidentaly ran smack dab into a tall, pretty, blond, woman wearing a Santa Claus outfit.   
  
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" exclaimed Rachel.  
  
"That's ok," said the woman.   
  
Rachel bent down to pick up her numerous bags, suprised to see that the woman bent down to help her, holding her red velvety hat on top of her head.  
  
"I'm Phoebe Buffay. You're not from around here, are you?" she asked.  
  
"No," replied Rachel. "How'd you know?"  
  
"Well, your outfit, and all these bags do say a lot. Plus, the look on your face as you walked down the street."  
  
Rachel sighed. "You guessed it. I'm from California. San Diego, to be exact. I just drove across the country to find out that the apartment building where I was supposed to live is closed." She gestured to the building that was nearly in front of them.  
  
"Oh, that sucks." Phoebe's face lit up. "Hey, you can live with me!"  
  
Rachel backed away. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Oh, no. I'm not crazy! I'm just looking for a roomate. Rachel, we'd be great roomates!"  
  
A weird look came across Rachel's face. "Phoebe, I never told you my name..."  
  
"Oh, well some people say I have this gift. I know things that certain people don't. A sixth sense, if you will. Plus, you look like a Rachel."  
  
"All right..."   
  
"So, would you like a place to stay?"  
  
Rachel stopped gathering her things. New York was going to be interesting, she could tell. But should she just move in with some strange woman in a Santa Claus suit? 'This is kind of strange,' she thought. But as she looked into Phoebe's eyes, she felt that she could be trusted. There was a vibrant blue sparkle in them. The sunny smile that glowed on her face seemed to light up the dim alley. Rachel realized that she was staring this woman down, and blushed.  
  
"So?" questioned Phoebe. "Do you need a place to stay? I promise that I'm not like some kind of kook. I mean, I don't have like a criminal record or anything. Well, there was that one time that I got arrested for having sex in the public library, but that was totally different, I promise! And I went out with the cop that tried to arrest me, so the record is clear. We sorta worked out a deal, y'know?"  
  
Phoebe noticed that Rachel's eyes were slowly growing wider and wider. "Oh great, now you think that I'm floopy! Or worse, crazy!"  
  
Rachel smiled. Phoebe had a way of moving her hands about wildly as she spoke. She clearly was the exact definiton of floopy, yet she had some very likable qualities. Plus, where else was she going to stay? Certinaly not on the streets! "Sure," said Rachel. "Thank you so much. I'll be forever grateful, Phoebe. I'm not sure I fully introduced myself. I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you." She extended her hand out.   
  
Phobe shook it. "Nice to meet you properly, Rachel. And of course I'd give you a place to stay! What else is the spirit of Christmas for?" she asked, gesturing to her outfit.  
  
Rachel looked at the outfit inquisitivley. "Is that just your clothes or..." Her voice trailed off in question.  
  
"Oh, this old thing? I wear it everyday," Phoebe answered with a serious air about her.  
  
Rachel began to look worried and raised her eyebrows. "Every day?"  
  
"Well, every day since December 1st. I work part time as a department store Santa Claus around the holidays. Now that Christmas is over, so is this little gig. Too bad Christmas is over. Such a happy time of year..."  
  
"Yeah," Rachel remembered sadly and softly to herself. "It's over."  
  
"Are you okay?" wondered Phoebe.  
  
Rachel put on her mask immeaditly. "Of course! I'm just happy that you don't really wear that every day...y'know, I thought that you-"  
  
"No, no," Phoebe interrupted. "I'm not Santa Claus."  
  
Rachel smiled. "I didn't think that you were Santa. I just thought that you enjoyed wearing it for some reason."  
  
Phoebe laughed a rather infectous laugh. "No, it's not exactly something I put on to get a sick pleasure out of."  
  
Rachel looked relieved, but only for a split second. A horn honked in the distance and the squealing of brakes could be heard. Rachel jumped, and grabbed her bags.   
  
"So, I think we'd better get out of here," began Rachel. "That didn't exactly sound good."  
  
"Yeah, you're right. Here, let me help you with some of those." Phoebe picked up two of the bulging suitcases strapped with belts in order to hold all the clothing inside. "My God Rachel, what do you have in here? Bricks?"  
  
"Not exactly. I want to work in fashion design, so I have a lot of clothes. I call them my little 'experiments.' I love clothes like you wouldn't believe."  
  
"I'll say," commented Phoebe noticing the four bags Rachel held.  
  
Rachel let out a small chuckle. "You have no idea..."  
  
The long dark alleys loomed ahead. "So, how do we get out of here?" asked Rachel in anticipation. Her surroundings were so unlike warm sunny California, and Rachel longed to be in the sun. She had changed out of her warm jacket earlier, and was now dressed in capris, flip flops, and a blue jean jacket. She was very aware that the outside held freezing temperatures.  
  
Phoebe noticed her companion's unseasonal attire. "Let's hail a cab. Taxi?!"  
  
A yellow cab with a black stripe on the side pulled up to the curb within seconds. "Wow," breathed Rachel. "It's like magic!"  
  
Phoebe threw her the bags into the back and motioned for Rachel to get in the cab. "Oh Rachel," she laughed. "You have so much to learn!"  
  
The cab drive glanced back at his passengers. He was missing most of his teeth, had a scar that mangled half of his face, and was wearing an eyepatch over the eye that was not covered by his greasy thin hair. He noticed that his cab had recently aquired a girl that looked like she belonged on Baywatch and one who was dressed in a Santa suit. He turned around and sighed. "Hey, I'm not here to judge," he thought. After all, in New York City, who was?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
Monica Bing took one final glance over her apartment. Tonight was her annual New Years Eve part, and everything needed to be perfect. Monica's definition of perfect was no mistakes, clean, everything in order, and everyone had to be having a good time, regardless of anything else. The walls gleamed, the decorations announcing the coming of the New Year hung effortlessly over the doorway, and pristine champagne glasses sparkled. When Monica seemed to be pleased with the setting, she called out to her husband who was taking much too long getting dressed. "Chandler?! Where are you? The guests will start arriving in ten minutes!"  
  
A young man with sandy brown hair, clear blue eyes, and a charming smile entered the living room. He was fumbling with his tie. "Sweetie, can you help me with my suit? I don't see why I have to wear this damn tie, anyway. It's so uncomfort-wow..." His voice trailed off when he caught his first glimpse of his wife of two years all decked out to welcome in the New Year in a tight fitting, slinky, low cut, black dress. "You look...wow."  
  
She smiled, revealing a set of pearly white teeth. Her lush dark hair cascaded around her face in waves. Her striking dark blue eyes rimmed with lashes sparkled. "Thanks," she said lovingly. "You don't look so bad yourself." She started to fix his tie. "Now why you can't put on a tie the right way is beyond me, but I love you anyways."  
  
"That's good to know," he said jokingly. She gave his tie a final tug, and pulled him down on the couch on top of her. "Honey," he began, "I thought the guests were going to arrive soon."   
  
She sighed and began to move lower. "But Chandler, this is the last time we'll have sex this year. Doesn't that make you sad?"  
  
He was finding it hard to concentrate. "Ah, we have five minutes."  
  
"That's more than enough time. Pants off, Bing!"  
  
He glanced around and pretended to reluctantly give in, yet the speed in which he removed his pants was astonishing. "Alright, if you insist!"  
  
Four minutes later, a frazzled, red faced Monica and Chandler were in the middle of all the action, when the heard the door knob turn.  
  
"Pants back on! Pants back on!" Monica began to yell in a shrill, high pitched voice.  
  
She ran towards the front door, smoothed her hair and dress down, made sure Chandler looked presentable and opened the door. She breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was only Phoebe, her old roomate and best friend. "Hey Pheebs," Monica said. "Come on in."  
  
Phoebe entered, wearing an outrageously bright colored flowing tye dyed robe with bangly bracelets, rings on every finger, and a large necklace. "Hi everyone!"  
  
Chandler walked towards the door, his hair a mess and suit rumpled."Hey Pheebs. I like your, um, outfit."  
  
Phoebe smiled gleefully and looked him up and down. "Thanks, funnyman. I like your rumpled suit and sticking up hair. Did Monica pull the old, 'This is the last time we're gonna do it this year?' thing again?"  
  
Chandler looked towards the ground, embarrassed. "Yeah."  
  
"Dude, she gets you every time with that one!" Phoebe exclaimed.  
  
He continued to look down, but tried to smooth out his suit and hair this time. Monica was equally embarrassed. "Phoebe," she managed to stutter out, "aren't you going to introduce us to your new roomate? This isn't exactly the way to behave in front of a guest.  
  
Phoebe laughed and looked over at Rachel who was wearing a short red dress that contrasted beautifully with her silky blond hair. "Guys, this is Rachel Green. Rach, this is Chandler and Monica."  
  
Rachel smiled sweetly and rather shyly. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. Your place is so lovley."  
  
Monica imeaditly took a liking to her. "Thanks!" she exclaimed with a big smile. She went over to Rachel, and grabbed her hand. "Let me show you the rest of the place."  
  
Rachel grinned back at Phoebe, and allowed herself to be pulled away by Monica, who was talking million miles an hour on topics that ranged from cooking to, strangely enough, high school. Phoebe smiled. She and Rachel were getting along so well. They had even found space for Rachel's massive wardrobe. She was glad that Monica seemed to take a liking to Rachel.  
  
Just then, an extremely attractive Italian looking man came sauntering through the door wearing black pants and a Hawaiian shirt. "Hey Chandler. Hey Pheebs."  
  
"Hey Joey," Chandler and Phoebe replied.  
  
"Joe," began Chandler, "what's up with the shirt?"  
  
Joey turned bright red. "It was a present from my grandmother. I'd rather not talk about it right now. So, where is the new hot roomate?"  
  
"Joey!" exclaimed Phoebe.  
  
"Well you said she was hot on the phone!" said Joey in a rather high voice.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"What was that?" Rachel wondered aloud to Monica. Monica had been in the midst of giving the grand tour when Joey made his appearance known.   
  
Monica laughed. "That would be Joey Tribbiani, he lives across the hall. He's Chandler's best friend. He's not all that bright, but you gotta love him."  
  
"When you say 'not all that bright', do you mean mentally ill?" wondered Rachel.  
  
"Oh God no! He has the brains, but seems to focus his attention on things important to him. Say, women...and sandwiches..."  
  
Cries of Joey asking where the sandwiches were could be heard in the guest room where Monica and Rachel were. Rachel nodded. "I think I know what you mean!"  
  
"I'm so happy there's another girl in the group now. Do you think you'll be in town for long?" asked Monica.  
  
"I hope so. I need to find a job next week. Like a temporary one until I can get the one I want for good. I'd like to work in fashion."  
  
"Cool! I'm a chef." Monica announced proudly.  
  
Rachel smiled. She loved it when people got proud of the simple things in life. Such as the time she was building a snowman and Ross was so proud in the end. She sighed sadly, remembering that day. Others would think she was crazy, but it was a special day. A special, special day...  
  
"Rachel, are you ok?" asked Monica.  
  
She snapped out of it. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just glad I'm here too. I never had any close friends back in San Diego. Phoebe is so lucky. She has all these close friends." Rachel started to get emotional. She was talking about Phoebe and her friends, yet only one person was on her mind. Ross. "I just look at her and think that she's so lucky. I've always been so lonley and never had that."  
  
"Aw, honey." Monica moved closer to Rachel and put her arm around her. "You have us now."  
  
Rachel suddenly realized that she was crying in front of a girl she just met. "I'm so sorry. I just felt like I could open up to you. I don't know why."  
  
Monica sighed. "Well, in high school I was fat. I guess that made people want to talk to me about their problems more."  
  
Rachel looked up and sniffed. "Really? You're gorgeous now!"  
  
"Thanks, you are too."  
  
"Aww..."  
  
They hugged and laughed. "This is ridiculous," said Monica. "I just met you and we're both on the verge of tears!"  
  
Rachel smiled. "I bet this means we'll be very good friends."  
  
Monica smiled back. "I know. I have that same feeling, too."  
  
They hugged again, and Phoebe walked in. She groaned. "Come on you two, get a room!"  
  
Monica looked confused. "But Pheebs, we're in a room. We're just hugging. It's not like we're lesbians or anything."  
  
At the mention of lesbians, Joey raced into the room, with Chandler following close behind. "Lesbians? Where? The new girl's a lesbian?!"   
  
Rachel laughed. 'So this was Joey,' she thought. She looked around at the four friends. 'They seem like such a nice group,' she thought. But something was missing. Monica had Chandler, and by the way Joey had his hands wrapped possessivley around Phoebe's waist, she had a sneaking suspicion that they were somewhat of an item. So there was Monica and Chandler. Joey and Phoebe. Rachel and...'Who?' she wondered. The name Ross kept popping into her mind. 'Ross is gone. You left him, you idiot! You were scared of commitment so you left the one man you ever really felt something for. So what if you only knew him two days! You felt something and so did he. And now you don't know where he is and he probably thinks you didn't like him.'   
  
Chandler said something funny, and the other three laughed. They all seemed so happy with one another. Rachel wondered if she would ever find that happiness that the four others had.  
  
Phoebe noticed Rachel's eyes misting up as she gazed into the distance, making it seem like she was trying to see into the future.   
  
"Rach, are you ok?" Phoebe asked concernedly.  
  
Rachel immeaditly responded with a yes, but that offset look in her eyes told the truth. The truth was that she wasn't.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Two Months Later...  
  
Rachel was in the bathroom of the apartment she shared with Phoebe, and for the fifth time in the past few weeks, she had called into work sick. She hoped that they didn't fire her, but she had a feeling as long as the white haired man worked in the coffee shop, her job was safe. She felt very naseous and dizzy. The world was blurred before her eyes, making it very difficult for Rachel to find what she was looking for in the medicine cabinet. When she finally felt her hand close over a small stick, she breathed a sigh of relief. She had found what she was looking for. Ten minutes later, her worst fear and sneaking suspicion was confirmed. There was no mistaking it. Rachel held it up towards the light, making sure it was right. There was no denying it now. The tell all little stick read one word: positive.   
  
So...what did you think? Good, bad, just ok? If you have any suggestions, they are welcome. I know how this is going to end, but if anyone has any suggestions on what to do in the meantime, please let me know. I really like reviews. They make my day. :) Comments, questions, flames, reviews...they are all welcome. Ok, flames aren't welcome but constructive criticism is ok. ;) Just click the little button that says review! 


	4. Of Lobsters And Babies

A/N: Okey dokey, here's chapter four! This is mainly a filler chapter, but lots of stuff will happen soon, I promise. I originally wanted this to be a Christmas story, but I think it's just a story now. It'll probably have Christmas somewhere else in it, though. Thank you guys SO much for reviewing this story! This is the farthest I have ever written into a story before because of all the great reviews I've gotten. I've only gotten to chapter three before. Please keep reviewing! ;) Oh, and I don't know if this story is going to be finished by Christmas cause finals are next week and I'm really nervous! Ahh! Wish me luck, I'm a freshman and this will be the first time I've ever taken a final. I'm scared, lol. Oh, and the title of this chapter, well, I couldn't think of one and in school we just finished Of Mice and Men. Soo . I looked at some of the sentences in this chapter and noticed I used 'Of Babies and Lobsters'. In case you are wondering, that's where the title is from. Of course most of you have probably skipped right ahead to the story cause these a/n things bore some people. ;) I like to read them, but oh well! ;) Read, review, and reciprocate!  
  
Disclaimer: Wow, this get's old! What if I said I was Marta Kauffman? Would ya shoot me? ...Oops, probably! So, I am in no way affiliated with Bright, Kauffman, or Crane and have no ownership of the actors on Friends. If anyone knows where they are, please tell me so I can go find them! ;)  
  
Chapter Four: Of Lobsters And Babies  
  
The fluorescent lights suddenly became very bright in the bathroom. The world blurred before Rachel's eyes as she teared up. Coming to the realization of this fact was almost too hard for Rachel to bear. All the pieces were beginning to fall into place, yet Rachel felt the puzzle lacked the most critical piece. She was having a baby. Yet, who was the father?  
  
'How can this be?' wondered Rachel. 'I haven't had sex in like five months!'  
  
She stood up, ready to grab another pregnancy test in order to make certain that this was just a 'false positive'. She reached around the cabinet, searching for yet another one. That's when it hit her like a bullet from a gun.  
  
Memories of hot chocolate, snowmen, and one passionate night became a blur of illusions in her head. Almost as if she was moving in slow motion, she dropped her stick. Her knees gave way, causing her to crumple to the ground in a heap. A crash erupted from the bathroom, signifying that she had hit the floor. Her last thought before she drifted out of consciousness was that Ross was the father of her child. Then her whole world gave way to darkness.  
  
****  
  
3,000 Miles away, San Diego, California  
  
Ross Geller breathed in the salty sea air and drank in the ocean with his eyes. Its blue waters glittered like turquoise in the sunlight. It was vast and stretched on for an eternity. All sounds became lost to him as he stood on the edge of the crowded beach. He was a lost soul, waiting for revival.  
  
Having been fired from his job just days before for no apparent reason, Ross made the decision to leave Arizona on hiatus and take a trip around the country. His first stop took him Northwest to San Diego. He didn't know why he chose there of all places, but he felt drawn to it, magnetically and emotionally.  
  
His job had meant everything to him. It was the one thing he lived for. Day in and day out, he worked. Whether the sun was shining or torrents of rain descended from the Heavens above, Ross Geller would go to work without fail. It was a routine and Ross was a creature of habit. Not knowing where his life was headed scared him more than anything in the world. His work was the one thing in which he excelled; the only aspect of life he felt good at.  
  
'I'm certainly not good at dating, that's for sure,' he thought. 'Hell, I can't even keep one for two days!' By some twist of fate, a woman that was perfect for him was put into his life, only to leave by choice a day later. He continued his walk down the beach, feeling rejected by the people at his work, women, and worst of all, himself. **** Rachel awoke to even brighter fluorescent lights than the ones she saw just before falling. She grimaced as she opened them wider. Drab, colorless walls and a single window overlooking the parking garage adorned the room. She tried to sit up, but noticed her right arm had an IV in it. 'What the heck happened to me?' she wondered.  
  
An older doctor entered. Her gray hair was tied back in a ponytail, and her gray eyes were dull. She was the picture of uniformity. In a monotonous voice, she began her routine speech. "Hello, my name is Dr. Clemens, I'll be taking care of you." She looked down at her clipboard. "Apparently, you fell down and hit your head on the toilet seat. Your friends brought you here when they found you; I'm sure they'll be thrilled to hear you are ok. Can you tell me how you feel right now, Rachel?"  
  
Rachel blinked again, and the world came into better focus. The doctor was impatiently tapping her clipboard with her pen. "Well.?"  
  
Rachel began to talk in a groggy voice. "I really don't know how I feel. It's kind of hard for me to put the pieces together right now. Why did I fall down? What was I doing?"  
  
"Ms. Green, I cannot fathom what made you fall down, but I do know that you suffered a mild concussion and will need to stay here one night. Other than that, you are free to go tomorrow."  
  
She was struggling to remember why she fell. Random thoughts raced through her head. Lights, bathrooms, cabinets. The doctor snapped her back to reality. "Ms. Green, please let the nurse know if you need anything." Dr. Clemens gave her what Rachel supposed was a smile, yet came out looking like the face a hungry fox gets when he is about to devour his prey. Rachel shuddered. "And by the way, congratulations."  
  
Rachel looked confused. "Congratulations?"  
  
"About the baby. Congratulations. Despite the fact that you somehow managed to give yourself a concussion by hitting your head on a toilet seat, it is fine and so are you. Consider yourself very lucky that you are both ok. The OBGYN will need to see you sometime later this week for your first sonogram." She flashed the fox smile once more and left the room with a swift turn and brisk walk.  
  
It all came flooding back to her now. She was going to be a mother, and there was nothing she could do about it. She reached down and cautiously felt her stomach. Inside, a miraculous event was occurring. Rachel sighed at the thought that her child would grow up without the love of a father. With tears glistening in her eyes, she turned her head towards the window. No stars were shining tonight to wish upon, and the moon hung alone in the sky. She wondered what path her life was heading down. The first time she had a baby, she never thought it would be alone. She sighed sadly and wondered where her baby's father was in the world, and if he had any clue as to what they were going through, would he even care?  
  
Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler all came bursting through the door. "The doctor said you were awake!" exclaimed a breathless Monica. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Rachel wiped a tear, the only evidence of her misery, off her cheek. "I'm alright, I guess. My head kind of hurts, but other than that, I'm ok."  
  
"We know about the baby," Phoebe said quietly as they all began to drag chairs around her bedside.  
  
Monica reached for Rachel's hand. "You know we'll be here for you the whole time, Rach. We're gonna love this baby to death!"  
  
Chandler chimed in. "Yeah, and if you don't want to tell us who the father is yet, that's totally ok."  
  
"Thanks, you guys. And I really don't think I should say anything about the father yet. You guys don't know him, and he's not from here. It's just nice to know you guys will be here."  
  
"What else are friends for?" asked Joey with a small grin.  
  
Chandler held up a McDonalds bag. "We brought you some food. Are you hungry?"  
  
Monica snatched the bag away from him. "Now that you're pregnant, you have to eat healthier. No more junk food for you," she instructed somewhat sternly.  
  
Rachel couldn't help but smile at this. "Ok, Mom."  
  
"I'm going to have so much fun cooking for you," Monica went on. "I can try out all these special recipes and whichever ones you like best, we'll save. That way, when I become pregnant, Chandler can cook them for me!"  
  
"W-w-what!?" exclaimed Chandler. "Y-y-you're pregnant!?"  
  
"No! I said when."  
  
"Oh." His face became very uneasy. "Joe, can I ah-talk to you in the hall for a minute?" Chandler got up and motioned for Joey to follow him.  
  
"I think you scared him, Mon," Joey said before following Chandler.  
  
"Now why did you do that?" Phoebe asked. "My job is to scare and tease him and yours is to comfort and sleep with him. It works perfectly, so don't be getting any crazy ideas that we're switching! 'Cause this," she motions to herself and the chair where Chandler had been sitting minutes before, "is not gonna happen!"  
  
"Calm down, Pheebs! I wanted to scare him away so we could talk to Rachel alone."  
  
"Ahh. Very smart."  
  
Monica glanced over at Rachel who was staring off into space with one hand tentatively resting atop her belly. Very gently, she began to talk to her. "Sweetie, are you ok? 'Cause even though you said you were, it doesn't look like it."  
  
Rachel looked up at Monica, her brow furrowed and lip being bitten by her bottom teeth. "It's taking all of my strength not to cry right now. I'm having a really hard time believing that this is happening to me."  
  
"Rach, you can cry. That's why we're here. C'mon, we're your two best friends." Phoebe said.  
  
Monica smoothed out her shirt, nervous of the question she was about to ask. "Honey, I'm going to ask you something. And if you don't want to tell us, we totally respect that. But if you think it will help, we're here for you. She cleared her throat and looked into Rachel's eyes. "Rachel, who is the father?"  
  
Rachel's eyes began to fill with tears. Within seconds, her whole body was heaving with sobs. Monica and Phoebe immediately scooted closer to Rachel. Seeing their friend sobbing over something no one had any control over left them feeling rather helpless. "It's okay. Let it all out. Everything is going to be alright," soothed Phoebe.  
  
"No it's not!" exclaimed Rachel through her tears. She sat upright and began to tell her story. "Everything is not going to be alright! Nothing in my life is all right. I'm having a baby! And guess who it's with? Some guy I knew for a day and a half! I was having the worst Christmas ever. I was alone, my parents had just gotten divorced, and I made this rash decision to move across the country to make something of myself. I could have lived in California for the rest of my life and never have had to work. I meet this guy who is absolutely perfect in every single way. He is also alone on Christmas Eve with a heartbreaking story. Our paths cross in Nowhereville, Pennsylvania and have some hot chocolate.among other things. We both have the best Christmases ever. After spending the night with him, I left. I could have stayed, you know. He was so right for me I every way. If I had stayed, we probably would have been together forever. But then again, I wouldn't have met you guys. Now, I'm having his baby and I have absolutely no idea what to do." She slumped back onto her pillow.  
  
"Wow," breathed Monica. "I bet it felt good to get that off your chest.  
  
Phoebe looked very serious. "Rachel, do you know who that man was? He was your lobster!" She saw the confused looks on Monica and Rachel's faces. "No, no. Let me explain."  
  
"Every person has some other person they were meant to be with. This one person compliments the other so well it is hard to believe. Some people spend their whole lives searching for this one other person that they are meant to be with. Some people call them soul mates, others call them true loves. I prefer to think of them as lobsters. 'Cause when lobsters get old, they walk around their tanks together claw in claw." She demonstrates. "Lobsters fall in love and mate for life. From everything you said and this psychic vibe I am getting, it sounds like this man is your lobster. You two were brought together by fate, and you will see him again someday. That's what happens with lobsters. When two people are meant to be together that much, their paths will cross until they realize it too. Mark my words, you will see him again. It's written in the stars."  
  
Rachel hung on to every word Phoebe said. "That was either the wisest or weirdest thing I have heard in my entire life."  
  
"Consider it the wisest," Phoebe said with a smile.  
  
"Rach, that guy sounds really great. If what Phoebe said was actually true, I can't wait to meet him!" exclaimed Monica. She said slyly with a wink, "Just make sure I don't take him instead!"  
  
This made Rachel giggle, but Phoebe was disturbed. "Ew, no! That would be so wrong! I can just tell the guy she described is not right for you in that way. No, it would be wrong, just wrong!"  
  
"Ok," said a bewildered Monica. "Anyhow, I have Chandler. Speaking of which, I had better go find him before I let Joey give him too much advice."  
  
"Are you going to be ok now?" asked Phoebe.  
  
Rachel smiled a small smile and placed her hand protectively on her abdomen. "Yeah, I think we'll be alright. Can one of you pick me up tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure," they replied. After saying goodbye to her two best friends, she was all alone.  
  
'Tomorrow I will se if I can get a hold of Ross. Whether he wants to hear it or not, he deserves to know that he's going to be a father,' she thought. 'Didn't he say he worked in Sedona? That's a pretty small town, so somehow I should be able to contact him.'  
  
She drifted off into a somewhat peaceful slumber, having Phoebe's comforting 'Lobster Theory' to lull her to sleep. Although she would have no memory of them when she awoke the following morning, her dreams that night were of lobsters and babies.  
  
****  
  
Ahead of Ross was a fork in the road. One direction headed towards the right, which would lead him north to New York. If he took the path on the left, he would be on his way back to Arizona. He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. This was it. If he turned left, he could go home and try to find another job somewhere. He could return to his life of comfort and no risk. He looked to the sky for an answer. No stars were out tonight, and the moon he gazed upon was the same one that Rachel had just minutes before. His mind told him to go back to Arizona, yet his heart sang a different song. 'Go to her,' it seemed to say.  
  
For the first time in his life, Ross Geller listened to his heart and not his head. He was going to New York. He was going to find the woman who had made such an impact on his life. He turned to the right and drove on. She came as quick as she had left, but not without leaving a kiss on his cheek, and footprints on his heart. And he was determined to find her.  
  
TBC.  
  
So tell me what you think about that chapter. It was mainly a filler chapter but a lot of action is coming up soon. So if you review, you may motivate me to post another chapter soon! Thanks! Mel 


	5. Surprises, Surprises!

A/N: Chapter Five is a little shorter than the others, but lots of stuff happens! Chapter Six is the last one, I think. I just want to take the time to thank all of you who have stuck with me this whole time and reviewed. I hope this is the first of many stories I write! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter! Happy Holidays! :)  
  
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Bright, Kauffman, or Crane. This little idea for the story is mine though! :)  
  
Chapter Five: Surprises, Surprises  
  
Wind blew, marking its presence on the streets of Manhattan. The biting cold tore through the crowds. It was March, the month of wind, rain, and everything that came in between.   
  
Rachel pulled her coat closer to her body as she briskly walked down the streets. The ravaging gusts ripped through her hair as she began to pick up her pace.   
  
It had been three weeks to the day since she was released from the hospital, and since then she had done everything in her power to contact Ross. She had found out where he worked, made phone calls to his job, only to discover that he no longer worked there. She had looked up his address in the post office phone book, and found out that he had moved. She was running in circles, never quite reaching her destination. It was at that point that she just decided to stop trying. It seemed like all hope was gone; she was at the back of the tunnel where no light was visible, and he was out of sight. 'I guess Ross will never know that he has a baby,' she thought sadly.  
  
Amidst the biting cold, she reached down to feel her growing belly. It was definitely getting larger. To some, it may go unnoticed, but to those who knew her well, they could tell that she possessed a newfound luminescent glow and a slightly more positive outlook on life.  
  
Knowing that she not only had to protect her own life, but provide everything for the life of another left her with a strange feeling of power, and a surge of happiness. The only factor in this that didn't add up perfectly was the fact that her child was fatherless.  
  
She let out a small sigh and glanced across the street in order to see a man that looked exactly like Ross pass by. 'Great, now I'm seeing things.'  
  
That hadn't been the first time she'd seen something like this. Everywhere she went, Ross's presence seemed to be there. She would see a man with his jacket, her waiter at a restaurant would have the same name as him, going to work she would have to serve coffee to scientists studying their work while they sipped coffee. No matter where she was, she always saw something that reminded her of him. 'And now apparently, I've stepped up a level and I'm just seeing him now! I should probably go to the doctor and get this checked out. Hallucinating can't be a good sign.'  
  
Yet a part of her heart held a tiny sliver of hope in that one of these times, her hallucination would be more than what it was. If only she would consider the fact that she wasn't hallucinating. If only she knew that what she saw was indeed what was there.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ross grimaced and picked up his pace. It was bitterly cold outside. 'Manhattan sure is busy,' he thought. 'Not to mention cold.'  
  
After three long weeks on the road, his destination had been reached. There was only a slight problem in the mix. Now that he was here, he had no idea how to find her. He laughed to himself. 'If I was the most gorgeous, loving woman in the world, where would I be?'  
  
It was then that he saw her. He could hardly believe his eyes, yet he knew in his heart that there could be no other explanation. There she was. Rachel Green. Just walking down the street, less than a hundred feet away from him. Not believing his luck, he broke into a sprint, and, barely dodging oncoming traffic, ran across the street to her.  
  
With a look of disgust on her face, Rachel noticed the man running across the street in the middle of traffic. 'What an idiot. He must want to die.' Her mood immediately changed as she saw him coming straight towards her. 'Oh my God! I'm going to be mugged!' She started running, which had become a difficult task for her as of late.  
  
As he reached the sidewalk, he began to notice that she was running from him. Quickly he realized why. 'She must think I'm some psycho who's chasing after her!' In his loudest voice possible, he called out to her. "Rachel! Rachel, wait!"  
  
She stopped dead in her tracks. That voice had an all too familiar ring to it. She slowly began to realize what had happened. The illusion she had witnessed not thirty seconds ago was not merely an illusion. This time, what she had seen before her eyes was real. It was wonderful, magically, blissfully, real.   
  
Slowly, she pivoted on her heel. At this point, he was right in front of her. He was panting, his brown hair windblown, and his face a deep shade of red. Yet, his face held an emotion that was unmistakable. A smile the length of the ocean spread across his face as he engulfed her into a hug.   
  
A tear fell from her eye as she realized that she had, by some twist of fate, found exactly what she had been looking for.  
  
He pulled her away from him and studied her. Blond hair framed her tear-stained face, and her blue eyes were wet. "Hey, hey. Why are you crying?" he asked her in a gentle voice.  
  
She sniffed and shook her head. "I never thought I'd see you again. I just can't believe that you're-you're actually right here. Standing in front of me." She looked up into his deep brown eyes. "Those two days we spent together were the best days of my life. What I had with you, I never had with anyone else. I felt so bad when I left that morning. Yet, I couldn't go back. I tried looking for you afterwards, but everywhere I called, I kept going in circles. I just can't believe you're here right now!"  
  
He stroked her hair. "I know. They fired me from my job. I had nowhere to go. Something told me to come to New York. And whatever it was, I listened to it."  
  
She smiled. "I'm glad you did." Wind swirled, and he pulled her into a passionate kiss, lifting her off the ground and spinning around. He buried his face in his hair, never wanting this moment to end. Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him with all her might.   
  
People that passed by smiled at them, remembering what it was like to be young and in love. All else going on in the world didn't matter to them. In that moment, the noise of traffic, gusts of wind, and crowds of people all around them were little more than a buzz in the back of their heads.  
  
All that mattered was that moment, in which two lovers were reunited in the least likely of places. And this time, they hoped, it would be for good.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ring, Ring  
  
"Coming!"  
  
Ring, Ring  
  
"I'm coming!"  
  
Ring, Ring  
  
Out of breath from running, Phoebe answered the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Phoebe, it's Rachel," came the excited voice on the phone, barely audible over the noise in the background.  
  
"Rach, where are you,? Everything is so loud!"  
  
Rachel plugged one ear and started yelling into the phone. "I'm at a basketball game!"  
  
Phoebe's jaw dropped. "You? Are at a basketball game? Oh my God, is there some kind of fashion show going on with the players?"  
  
Rachel laughed. "No, but you're never in a million years going to believe who I'm here with!"  
  
Phoebe's mind raced. "Um...Michael Jackson?"  
  
"Ew, no! Where did you get that idea?"  
  
"I don't know, you said I'd never believe it. And I don't believe that you'd be there with him so..."  
  
Rachel shook her head. "Pheebs, you are weird sometimes..."  
  
Phoebe grinned. "Now don't say that like its a bad thing! Weird is good. Now, who are you there with?"  
  
Rachel smiled from ear to ear. "Well, lets just say that now, maybe my child won't have to be fatherless."  
  
"Oh my God! You're there with...with HIM?! The father? The man that you've been so secretive about that we don't even know his name?"  
  
"Yes! You know how I looked everywhere, and just when I had given up, I see him walking across the street!"  
  
"See! I told you he was your lobster!"  
  
"I know! And so he had tickets to tonight's game and offered to take me. I couldn't exactly tell him that I hated basketball. Heck, if he offered to take me to the bottom of the ocean, I'd probably follow him. He just went to get me a soda. He'll be back any second."   
  
"Wow...So, did you tell him about the baby?"  
  
The crowds cheered wildly, making it harder for Rachel to hear.  
  
"What?" she practically screamed.  
  
"Did you tell him about the baby?!" Phoebe screamed back.  
  
"Did I say I loved him maybe?"  
  
"Did you tell him about the BABY?!"  
  
"Oh, no, not yet. I was going to tell him later. He has no idea about the baby. This is the first time I've seen the guy in like three months. At this point, he's not going to care who's pregnant."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so. Hey, why don't you bring him over to Mon's for dinner tonight? I bet she'd be thrilled. You know how it's been driving her crazy how she doesn't know who the father is."  
  
"Yeah, I'll see if he wants to go. Listen, Pheebs, I gotta go. He should be back any second now. See you tonight."  
  
"Okay, bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
She turned around in her chair and gasped. Ross was sitting in the seat next to her, like he had been there for a while. 'Oh my God! Did he hear me say anything about the baby?'  
  
His feelings could not be deciphered from his outward appearance. From the look on his face, one could tell that he was very much into the game. Rachel decided to see how much he had heard. "So, are you enjoying the game?"  
  
He turned over towards her. "Yeah! It's great!" he replied almost overenthusiastically. "Who were you talking to?"  
  
She sighed. This was it. "My friend and roommate, Phoebe. We were wondering if you'd like to have dinner with us tonight?"  
  
He smiled. "Sure! I'd love to. Who else will be there?"  
  
"Well, Me, Phoebe, and our friends Joey, Chandler, and Monica. That's it. You'll love them, I promise."  
  
"Sounds fine to me. Say, I have a question."  
  
She gulped. "Yeah?"  
  
"Do any of them have kids?"  
  
"Uh...no..." She could tell he overheard parts of her conversation. Her mind was racing quickly, searching for an excuse. "But...but Monica is pregnant. Yeah, that's it! Only a couple of months, but she is! We're all really excited for her." She felt bad lying about Monica, but she knew Monica wouldn't mind. She was too loyal of a friend to mind. When a friend was in need, Monica was always there and ready to help. Even if that meant she was part of a white lie at the moment. Besides, its not like Monica and Ross would become close friends right away. He would never know the difference. It wouldn't matter in the least bit.   
  
Ross grinned at her. "Okay, then. I guess that solves that. What time are we going to dinner?"  
  
Rachel glanced at her watch. "At eight. We should leave here in a couple of hours."  
  
He smiled. Finally, he was back where he belonged. Yet something was different. He studied her as she pretended to be interested in the game. Her hair was still the same silky blond, her eyes the same shade of blue. Yet in the way she smiled, something was different. It was as if she held a precious secret that she withheld from everyone but herself. Ross couldn't exactly pinpoint what was different, but he knew that in time he would find out. He reached for her hand and smiled at her. In time, all questions would be answered.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Chandler, feet off the couch! Joey, stop eating the appetizers! And Phoebe, can I get a little help in here!?" an exasperated Monica exclaimed.   
  
It was ten till eight, and Monica was overly excited at the prospect of meeting the father of Rachel's baby. She had done everything to get the information out of her, but Rachel would not succumb to her pestering. It was a secret, her secret. But that secret was about to become common knowledge in about ten minutes. And Monica wanted everything to be perfect.  
  
Unfortunately for her, the others didn't think of this meeting as a big deal, which was exactly what Monica saw it as. 'No one keeps a secret from Monica Geller!' She smiled as she accidentally used her maiden name. 'Well, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Geller. It did have a nice ring to it.' She continued setting the table. 'I wonder if Rachel is going to stay with this guy. If he's not good to her, I'll kick his ass. No man is too tough for me!'  
  
At that precise moment, there was a knock on the door.   
  
Chandler jumped up from his position on the couch where he and Joey were watching 'Baywatch' and drinking beer.   
  
Chandler ran to the door, followed closely by Joey and Phoebe. Monica stayed behind for a moment, making sure everything looked perfect. On top of that, it was good not to look eager in situations like this. She took a deep breath and prepared to meet Rachel's dream man.   
  
On the other side of the door, Ross held Rachel's hand. He looked nervous for some reason. Rachel saw this and giggled. She gave his hand an extra squeeze for good luck. "Don't worry. They're all fairly normal, and they're going to love you. I promise."  
  
He looked unsure of himself, and closed his eyes. "I guess."  
  
That moment, the door was flung open. Ross opened his eyes and could hardly keep from laughing. The first thing he saw was a man with brown hair and dark eyes, a man with light hair and blue eyes, and a very pretty blond woman. They said nothing, and neither did he, yet it all seemed comical in a sense. They seemed to stare him up and down. Ross was beginning to look nervous. Rachel gave all of her friends the evil eye that seemed to say, 'He's not an animal at the zoo, for God sakes, talk to him!'  
  
Phoebe finally broke the ice and stepped outside to the other side of the door. "Hi, I'm Phoebe. Nice to meet you."  
  
Ross breathed a sigh of relief, as did Rachel. "I'm Ross. Nice to meet you, too."  
  
Monica overheard the name of Rachel's mystery man. Ross. Funny how a name could bring back such painful memories. She figured she should step out and meet him. She cringed when she overheard Joey's greeting.  
  
"So, you're the father! Nice to finally meet you! Joey Tribbiani. Actor." He grinned, while Ross's mouth dropped open in confusion.  
  
Phoebe waved her hands about wildly to Joey while she was standing next to Ross. Joey, mistaking this as a wave instead of a gesture telling him to shut up, waved back. Chandler, realizing what was happening, grabbed Joey and yanked him into the other room. Phoebe bit her lip and looked at Rachel. 'I'm sorry,' she mouthed. Rachel buried her head in her hands.   
  
Ross looked at Rachel. "Rach, what are they talking about, the father? I'm not a father. I don't have any kids. Unless..." Everything fell into place at that moment as he looked at her very closely. "Wow, I need to sit down..." He looked at the ground.   
  
Rachel fought back her tears. "I'm so sorry, Ross."  
  
Phoebe called out to Monica. "Mon, can we get some water over here?"  
  
Monica, having overheard the whole conversation was already prepared. "I've already got some. Here and I also brought-"  
  
Her words faded off into silence as she got her first glimpse at the father of Rachel's child. What she saw stopped her dead in her tracks. "Oh my God..."  
  
Ross, hearing the familiar voice, looked up. Although he hadn't seen her in five years, nothing had changed. Her hair was still the same old brown, her eyes the same old blue. She looked much happier now, that was for sure. The face he saw was the face of the girl he grew up with, spent twenty years of his life with. Together, they chased off monsters in the dark, made up dance routines, snooped for presents at Christmastime, and hid in closets while their parents argued. He was the one person she could count on for over half of her life.   
  
Monica's jaw hit the floor. "Ross?" she asked in a quiet voice, barely believing what she saw.  
  
"Oh my God, Monica!"   
  
Rachel looked up and wiped her eyes off. "You two know each other?"  
  
Ross looked at her incredulously. "Yeah. She's my...She's my...She's my sister."  
  
Rachel's eyes widened and her hand flew to her stomach. "Oh my God..."  
  
Phoebe surveyed the scene with a little smile on her face. "Wow. I did NOT see this coming!"  
  
TBC...  
  
LOL...so you all probably DID see it coming, but oh well! :) I had fun writing this chapter, anyways! :) Sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. I wrote it pretty quickly and I was going through a MAJOR writer's block at the time. So, let me know how it was, ok? :) Happy Holidays! Next chapter should be up soon. Hopefully before next year. :) Thanks!  
  
Mel 


	6. If I'm not in love with you

Okay, so I know in like a gajillion places I said that this was going to be the last chapter. Guess what? It's not. :) I was writing it and decided that I couldn't resolve all the issues in only one more chapter. So...this is one of the last chapters! Sorry for the confusion, but this isn't the finale. I didn't want to rush anything, and I felt that if I worked this hard on a story I shouldn't rush the end. I wanted it to be good. I thought that the story deserved more. :) So here is the next chapter. There'll be one or maybe two more to follow. Read and Review! :)   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Friends characters...and I don't own the song "If I'm not in love" by Faith Hill.   
  
Looking at the shocked expressions on everyone's faces, Phoebe quickly thought up an escape route. "What's that, Joey? Okay, I'll be right there." She left, leaving the other three in silence.  
  
Rachel could feel her heart beat faster and faster.  
  
Ross was Monica's brother. Monica was Ross's sister. Rachel was Monica's best friend. Rachel was the mother of Ross's unborn child.  
  
She watched on as Ross headed over to the couch. He sat down and rested his weary head in his hands.  
  
So many thoughts were running through his head, and he could only register one at a time.  
  
"Monica," he whispered.  
  
Monica turned her head from Rachel to Ross. "Yeah?"  
  
"Is it really you?"  
  
A small, quizzical smile crossed her face. "Yeah, it's really me."  
  
"Oh my God, I thought I'd never see you again." He pulled her into bear hug, and she didn't pull away.  
  
"I know," she whispered. "Why didn't you ever call me?"  
  
"Why didn't you ever call me? You knew I moved here; Mom and Dad must've told you."  
  
"Yeah, but I did call you. You never returned my calls."  
  
She looked confused. "I never got them."  
  
"Ahem." Chandler cleared his throat, sheepishly. "I think I might be able to explain. I didn't know you were her brother. I thought you were some guy, like an old boyfriend, calling her. Sorry..."  
  
Ross went into overprotective brother mode. "Who is this?"  
  
Monica blushed. "Ross, meet Chandler Bing...my husband."  
  
"Your husband?!"  
  
Chandler stepped forwards, nervously. "H-hi."  
  
"You're married to my BABY SISTER?!"  
  
"Uh...yes?"  
  
"Since when?" He got up and looked Chandler up and down.  
  
Chandler looked down at the ground. "Five years." Ross raised an eyebrow and Chandler gulped. "S-sir."  
  
"Five years, huh? I take it you love my sister?"  
  
Chandler sat down in the armchair and pulled Monica down on his lap. They kissed each other on the lips and Chandler smiled. "You bet I do."  
  
Ross groaned and looked disgusted. "Alright already...get a room!"  
  
Monica smiled and got up, grabbing Chandler's hand. "Actually, our room is just right over there..."  
  
Ross's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "NO! I mean, no. My little sister doesn't need to be sleeping with anyone. She could get a disease...or she could get pregnant!"  
  
Monica shook her head in disbelief. "Ross, we've been married for five years. Neither of us has any diseases, and a baby wouldn't be bad for us right now. Do you actually think I've never had sex before?"  
  
Ross held his head in his hands. "My...my little sister. My baby sister is sleeping...sleeping around?"  
  
Monica looked at Ross, frustrated. "Ross, once again, I'm married. MARRIED. You are going to have to accept the fact that I'm no longer you're little sister. I'm just your sister. I've changed, Ross. In these past five years, I've grown up...Now, I'd really love to talk to you and catch up, but right now you've got bigger problems to deal with."  
  
She looked over at Rachel, who was leaning against the doorframe with a blank, glassy, stare on her face. It didn't even look like she was listening to any of their conversation. She looked afraid and alone. "Much bigger problems," finished Monica.  
  
Ross looked over at her and took a deep breath. "Oh my God..."  
  
Amidst all the other excitement, Ross had forgotten the reason he had even come to New York.  
  
Rachel. He hadn't known her long, but he knew her well. It was amazing how much he cared. The feelings he had for this woman were deeper than the feelings he had ever had for another human being. Ever. And that thought scared him. Yet it scared him even more that he had almost lost her; almost never got the chance to tell her how much he cared.  
  
He studied her face; it looked like she was on the verge of tears. 'It's now or never,' he told himself.  
  
"Hey Rach, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
Monica understood what he needed to do. "You can use the guest room if you want."  
  
Ross smiled at her, glad she was able to accept and understand him after all these years. "Thanks, Mon." Very gently, almost as if he was speaking to a lost child, he urged her to follow him. "Rachel?"  
  
Slowly, like a sad puppy dog following its master, she walked in his footsteps; her head hung low and her hand pressed up against her stomach.  
  
Ross opened the door for her, trying to be as helpful as possible. She sat down on the far end of the bed in silence.  
  
'This isn't going to be easy,' Ross thought.  
  
Surprisingly, she initiated the conversation. "Ross, I'm sorry," she choked out in a tearful voice.  
  
"What?" This wasn't what he expected to hear.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Why are you sorry?"  
  
"I should have told you sooner about the baby; I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm sorry I ever did this to you...forced you into all these situations...I'm sorry I left that night. I-I'm sorry that I ever met you and put you through this." She flopped back onto the bed and put her hand over her head.  
  
Ross was astounded. "You're sorry you ever met me? Are you crazy? That was the best day of my life. I drove 3,000 miles just to find you. We can work this out. We can be great together." Ross pulled her up and held her head in his hands. He moved his face in towards hers.  
  
Their lips met, and for a moment, a spark of electricity passed through them, igniting a flame neither of them knew they possessed.  
  
Against what her heart was telling her, she pulled away. Tears fell, each one building up to the confession of a feeling she was terrified to admit; a feeling she knew she wasn't ready to confess yet. So, she said the opposite of what she felt.  
  
"No...I'm sorry...I'm sorry because...because I don't know if I'm ready for this. A relationship. I just thought you deserved to know about the baby. I just...I don't know...I really like you, but..."  
  
Ross felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. Like. She had said like. Not love.  
  
'Well, yeah, Ross, what did you think she was going to say? It would be ridiculous if she said love. It's too soon. You better not say anything...It would scare her.' Yet the other side of his head said something different. 'Tell her...she'll understand. She probably feels the same way. When you saw her, you kissed...that's got to mean something...She seems so sad...if you told her, it might make her happier...' The other side of his conscience argued back. 'Yes, but it also might scare her...you don't want to do that, do you? It's much too soon. Don't make her cry again, Ross. Don't do this to her.'  
  
Love. Such a small word, yet saying it can change your life forever. It's a word that can either make you jump for joy or make you want to die. Both Ross and Rachel were afraid of the second choice...they didn't want to get hurt.   
  
And their desire to keep protecting their hearts was stronger, at the time, then their desire to open up and put their hearts out on the line.  
  
'Love is too strong a strong word to use in this situation,' Ross thought. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was the right one. But neither was ready to admit it.  
  
Eyes welling with tears, Rachel stood up. "Ross, I have to go home now. It's late...I'm so sorry. Let's do something tomorrow, okay? I think we both just need to think about this for a night." Her insides screamed to her. 'Don't leave again!'  
  
Ross nodded, reluctantly. "Yeah. Okay."  
  
She pulled a small envelope out of her purse. "And, well, here's something for you to have. Open it later...I thought you might want it."  
  
With the swift opening of the door, she was gone again; leaving them both in a state of misery, despair, and utter confusion.  
  
'If I'm not in love with you  
  
What is this I'm going through...tonight?  
  
And if my heart is lying then   
  
What should I believe in?  
  
Why do I go crazy  
  
Every time I think about you baby  
  
Why else do I want you like I do...  
  
If I'm not in love with you...'  
  
As Rachel headed down the stairs of Monica's apartment building, she couldn't help but think she was making a big mistake. She exited the building, reasoning with herself. "Rach, you've already overwhelmed him with all this news. The poor guy has been through enough. He traveled 3,000 miles, found his long-lost sister, and discovered he is going to be a father. The last thing he needs to know is that some crazy woman having his baby thinks she is in love with him." She re-thought her last sentence. "But isn't that the way it is supposed to be?" She shook her head and put more distance between herself and the only person she felt this way about. "In my life, nothing is the way it is supposed to be."  
  
Other people continued about their nightly business, no one knowing how much pain her lost soul was in. As she brushed away her falling tears, no one knew that with every step she took, a little piece of her heart was breaking...  
  
'And if I don't need your touch  
  
Why do I miss you so much...tonight  
  
If it's just infatuation then  
  
Why is my heart achin'  
  
To hold you forever...  
  
Give a part of me I thought I'd never  
  
Give again to someone I could lose...  
  
If I'm not in love with you...'  
  
Ross wiped the tears from his eyes, not wanting anyone to walk in on him sobbing.  
  
"Why am I doing this? I can't really be in love with her...can I?"  
  
He shut his eyes and thought back to a conversation he had with her on Christmas Eve...  
  
"So, Ross Geller," Rachel began flirtatiously, "do you believe in fate?"  
  
He touched the top of her hand and grinned. "Do you?"  
  
"I believe everything happens for a reason."  
  
"I guess..."  
  
She leaned in towards him, blue eyes sparkling, and whispered in a barely audible, excited tone. "Everything DOES happen for a reason. You and I are here right now due to some reason unbeknownst to us."  
  
"Really?" He pretended to be intrigued and said it in a mocking tone.  
  
She slapped his hand playfully and rolled her eyes. "Of course we are. Why did you come over here and talk to me tonight? I bet you don't usually come up and talk to strangers. What made you pick me?"  
  
He shifted in his seat, not wanting to believe that his views on science were being successfully challenged. "Well, you just seemed nice."  
  
"I'm sure there's lots of other women who seem nice in the world. How come you don't talk to them?"  
  
"Well..." For the first time, Ross found himself at a loss for words.  
  
"Maybe this was meant to be. Something pushed you in my direction, didn't it? You might not want to admit it, but deep down you know that something told you to come talk to me tonight. Do you know what that is?"  
  
Ross shook his head.  
  
"Fate," she said meaningfully. "Fate. It is the driving force behind every action in this world."  
  
He shook his head and smiled at her. "I dunno, Rachel..."  
  
She simply smiled back and shook her head. "One day you'll see. One day, something will happen, and you won't quite understand exactly why it happened. There will only be one explanation for it: It was meant to be. Fate. Destiny. Call it what you want, but one day, you'll see. One day, you won't be able to deny it because it will be looking right at you. One day, you're going to have to believe..."  
  
His eyes fluttered open again. It was like a defining moment of truth for him. The feeling she described to him was happening. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Whenever he closed his eyes, there she was.  
  
His thoughts drifted into a dream. Suddenly, he was in a house. A house where sunshine streamed through the windows and love was in every room. He was sitting at the kitchen table when a woman entered the room.  
  
It was Rachel.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," she purred.  
  
"Hi, babe." He pulled her onto his lap.  
  
"I missed you today."  
  
"I know. I hate going to work every day, knowing what I'm leaving at home." He smiled and looked up into her sparkling blue eyes. "But then again, it just makes me work faster and run home to you."  
  
She kissed him on the lips softly. He responded, hungrily.  
  
"Honey," she moaned, "the kids are in the next room..." Yet she made no attempt to pull away.  
  
"I know, but they're still young enough not to understand..." He raised an eyebrow.  
  
Upon seeing this, she grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to their room where they made love.  
  
When it was almost over, her eyes locked with his. "I love you."  
  
Breathlessly, he smiled. "Me too."  
  
"Ever since the day I met you."  
  
"I know."  
  
In a blur of sound, color, and passion, it was over. She kissed the top of his head as both their eyes closed and their breathing became in unison. "No, really. It was like love at first sight."  
  
Then, his fantasy was over...  
  
'Oh why in every fantasy  
  
Do I feel your arms embracing me?  
  
Lovers lost in sweet desire...  
  
Oh why in dreams do I surrender  
  
Like a little baby?  
  
Someone help explain this feeling  
  
Someone tell me...'  
  
Rachel had almost reached her apartment building. The rain was falling faster now, and each droplet asked a question.  
  
Do I love him?  
  
Why did I leave?  
  
But...it's too soon for love...  
  
Isn't it?  
  
Her tears became indistinguishable with the rain, blurring her vision. She picked up her pace. "How can I feel this way? I know it can't be anything but love...but why? It is too soon...but what if it is fate? I can't deny it if it is...Someone tell me...please? If it's not love, then what is it?" She voiced her feelings aloud, not caring if the people on the street heard her. Almost expecting an answer, she listened. When she realized she wasn't getting one, she continued on, feeling as helpless as a baby.  
  
'If I'm not in love with you  
  
What is this I'm going through...tonight?  
  
And if my heart is lyin' then  
  
What should I believe in  
  
Why do I go crazy  
  
Every time I think about you baby  
  
Why else do I want you like I...I do...  
  
If I'm not in love...with...you...'  
  
As she stepped out into the street, she looked to the stars for an answer. The street was vacant, so she stood there for a moment, rain pelting down her body. She continued to look upwards and began yelling towards the sky. "Come on! What else can you do to me? Just tell me if it's love. Show me! I need to know...I need help! Someone...tell me!"  
  
Just then, a truck came barreling down the street. The few people on the sidewalk screamed at her to get out of the street. Over the rain and the yelling, she couldn't see the truck, nor could she hear it.   
  
She was silent for a moment, suddenly aware of the noises around her. Like a deer in headlights, she turned around to see it trying to skid to a stop. But the rain made it hard to slow down, and she was frozen in place. Her legs were like lead weights, and the truck was too fast.  
  
It was like she was in a trance...trying to move...yet unable. The truck driver honked his horn, snapping her out of it. He was only a few feet away, and she was not fast enough. Just as she almost made it, the truck hit her in the side, causing her to go flying and hit the cold, wet, pavement.   
  
The driver was finally able to stop his vehicle, but it was too late. A crowd of people gathered around her. The whole left side of her body was bloody and there was a cut across her forehead.  
  
"Oh my God, is she okay?" a woman wondered.  
  
The driver looked horrified. "I tried to stop, but I-I couldn't!"  
  
A man holding a cell phone approached the group. "I called 9-1-1. Does she have any identification on her?"  
  
The woman bent down. "Miss, can you hear me? I'm going to look for your drivers license. We need to find out who you are. Can you answer me?"  
  
Rachel didn't stir, and the worried looking woman opened her coat, revealing her perfectly rounded bump. "Oh dear God...she's pregnant!"  
  
The driver buried his head in his hands. "I'm going to Hell for sure now..."  
  
The man looked closer at Rachel. "No, she's breathing! It's okay. Ma'am? Can you hear me? Say anything!"  
  
For a split second, Rachel's eyes fluttered open. Faces surrounded her, none of them familiar. "Ross..."  
  
The truck driver looked up. "Who's Ross?"  
  
"Ross Geller."  
  
"Remember that name!" someone shouted out.  
  
The driver bent down towards her. "Who is Ross Geller?"  
  
Tears rolled down her bloody face as she was struggling to breathe. "The man I'm in love with..."  
  
Then, her whole world gave way to darkness...  
  
To  
  
Be  
  
Continued...  
  
Please don't give up on me yet! Keep reading this! Oh, and I don't know how hard the truck hit her, but pretend she had a minute to talk, a minute where she was conscious. I needed to add that line in there. So...tell me what you think about this chapter. What did you like...what didn't you like...oh and also, what chapter do you like the best so far? I mean, which one was the most well-written one? I'm just curious. Constructive criticism, as always, is more than welcome! I like to know how I can improve by hearing suggestions by writers better than me. (I know there's a TON of them out there!) I hope everyone had a great New Year! The next chapter (maybe the finale, it might not be though) should be up soon. Please review!   
  
Mel 


	7. The night the sky cried

I owe everyone a BIG apology!

I am SO sorry I haven't updated this in...six months. I will NEVER do something like this again, I promise. In fact, I have the next chapter all written out. I just need to type it up, which I'll probably do in a week or so. I'll be on vacation starting Monday for a week, and I'll have time to write, but not type. ;)

Thank you SO much to all you guys who have continued to review this story...even when I didn't update it for awhile. I hope you all like this chapter.

Please read and review....(phew, it feels good to update this thing!)

Without further ado...

He had lost her. _Again._

That was the only thought running through Ross's head.

Five or ten minutes after she had left, Ross's eyes turned towards the envelope Rachel left on the night table. Feeling saddened by her departure, and a bit like a mischievous child about to discover withheld information, he reached for the envelope.

His fingers gingerly traced the outer edges of it. As his trembling hands worked to open it, Ross couldn't help but think that Rachel's lips had graced the paper as she licked it shut. Her hands had written his name across the front.

There it was, in almost childlike printing: **Ross**.

Little did he know how much that name meant to her...little did he know how much she truly cared.

When the envelope was open, a small piece of paper fluttered out, a thicker one following it. Ross turned his attention to the large piece of paper first. As he freed it from its many creases, a small gasp flew from his throat. It was a letter from Rachel.

_Ross-_

_I don't know what to say. I know that if you're reading this letter, then I have left again. I suppose then that I could start with sorry...You're a really great guy, Ross; one of the best. You are sweet, funny, handsome, and charming. All of my life, I've looked for someone like you. _

_When I was a little girl, I would spend hours dreaming about what I would say to my dream man once I met him._

Ross felt his eyes well with tears, blurring his vision from the words that wrenched his heart. He continued reading.

_And now...now that I've found the one man that I've been looking for all of my life... I don't know what to do. _

A single tear blotted the fragile piece of paper.

_You'd think that love would be easy...that life would be perfect. But it's not...believe me...I should know, of all people. If life were perfect, then I wouldn't be so afraid to let myself love again. But I am, and I can't bear to hurt someone as badly as I've been hurt in the past._

Ross set the letter that held the key to his heart on the night table for a moment. Thoughts circled around his mind as the raindrops danced around in the night sky.

How had she been hurt? Who did this to her?

_There's so much I don't even know about her,_ thought Ross in wonderment. He picked up the letter again, and this time, held it steadier in his firm hands.

_I'm truly sorry, Ross. I hate to think that I'm hurting you, but in all honesty, I don't think I deserve you. I'm so sorry...and so confused right now. All of these feelings have surfaced, and I don't know who to trust...my head or my heart. I don't know what to say...I don't know what to do..._

_I do hope to see you again one day. But right now, I just need a moment to myself. It seems weird, really, that I've spent the past few months searching for you, only to have left you again._

_I write this in February...I don't know if I'll ever see you, or run from you, again, but this letter will explain everything if I've left you in confusion._

_I'm so sorry...so, so, so, sorry..._

As Ross laid the letter upon the tabletop, he watched the rain slide down the window pane. They fell, tears the sky cried. As lightning lashed its fire across the black desert of sky, the thunder rolled in behind it, crashing and disturbing the peace.

He turned his head towards the ground and spotted the other piece of paper that had drifted to the ground from the envelope. Stooping down to retrieve it, he gasped when he saw what his hands contained.

It was a sonogram.

The picture itself was simply a blur of indistinguishable blacks and whites...but what lie engulfed was beautiful.

Ross squinted at it, trying to decipher his baby from the mass of wavy black lines.

His baby. His _baby._

Ross fell back on the bed, sonogram clutched to his heart. _I'm going to be a father!_

It hit him harder as thunder clapped in the near distance. He was having a baby.

_How many months along must she be? _Ross wondered._ Four-ish?_

Ross raised his eyes and stared blankly out the window. He had let her get away. Again! And this time, it wasn't just her that had fled into the windy black hole of night.

This time, she had taken his child, _their child_, with her.

Standing up, Ross grabbed the letter and sonogram...the two pieces of paper that would change his life most.

As he listened to each raindrop fall, he knew that each one of them had a purpose: to reach the ground. Now, he too had a purpose: to get the only woman he had ever loved back.

Walking out into Monica's living room, he was greeted by sympathetic faces, most of which he did not recognize.

Ross found himself still surprised to see his little sister. She had obviously grown a great deal, both physically and mentally.

By the way she buried the side of her head in Chandler's shoulder and how he softly showered her sweet neckline with tender, reassuring kisses, Ross knew it must be love.

He wanted to have that desperately with someone else.

And not just anyone...but with Rachel.

Ross wanted the kind of love that you would sacrifice your soul for. When all hope vanished into thin air, he wanted to share a bond so special and perfect that it wouldn't even matter.

He wanted to go out, and be able to caress her soft skin whenever he wished. He wanted her to lie beside him each night, and as their bodies intertwined and joined as one, he wanted to whisper a sweet "I love you" into her ear as they both cried in joy.

He wanted, when their bones creaked a slow song from graceful aging, for their porch swing to creak in harmony with it. And as the swing would creak, helped along by the ever so gentle breeze, they would sit and reminisce and enjoy the way that her hand had molded in such a perfect way to lay in his, effortlessly.

He wanted to watch her gracefully glide down the aisle, and into his strong arms. When she got there, he would never let her go.

But, he had to find her first.

Snapping out of his wondrous daydream, Ross asked the question everyone knew was coming. "Where did she go?"

Monica shook her head. "Sorry, sweetie, she left."

"I know," he began impatiently, "but do you have any idea as to where she went?"

"She said she was going for a walk," remarked Phoebe, as if it was normal.

Ross held his head in his hands. "Oh my God! I can't believe this...she's out there in the rain, _pregnant,_ and alone. I thought she was going somewhere in a cab, at least! Why did you guys let her go!?" He moaned in frustration.

"Once Rachel has her mind set on something," stated Chandler, "there's no stopping her."

Ross groaned, "So? You could have at least went with her or something!"

"It was just something she needed to do," said Phoebe.

Joey looked at him without blinking. "If you really love her, then you'll go after her."

It took a minute for his unusually smart words to register, but once they did, Ross knew. "Yeah...I'll go after her."

Racing, he grabbed his creamy brown leather jacket and headed out into the darkness.

The darkness. Where shadows played and mercilessly taunted the lives of all who dared to enter its lifeless cove.

He _had_ to find her.

----

So many lights. So _very_ many lights.

Screams penetrated the night rainfall. The screams could deafen, and the screams could shatter lives.

But who were they coming from?

Just when a ray of light shined down, the clouds would blacken and thicken their fluffy spread across the evil black heavens.

She blindly looked around. She gasped for a single breath, willing her lungs to let air seep through.

They were becoming like her heart, only allowing the necessary amount through, but not enough to set the spirit flying into the supple arms of love again.

And then she heard the screams, once more. _Who was screaming so loud?_

Pain. Now there was more pain. Pain that reminded her of _before. Before_ was in her past. Pain was in her present, and undeniable tears were in her future.

_Before- _even in her most dire time of need, she wouldn't allow her nearly incomprehensible thoughts be invaded by thoughts of before that still haunted her nightmares.

Voices now. Pleading voices, begging her to open her eyes.

_I'm trying! But WHO is that screaming? Maybe if they would be quiet, I would open my eyes!_

But the words would not come.

She heard the screams again, louder this time.

If she had the strength, she would reprimand the shrill screamer who had disturbed the walk she had taken to sort out her many thoughts.

It wasn't until several moments later that she realized that the shrill screams of pain that rose from the streets to wake the dead came from someone she once knew so well.

_Herself._

-----

As you can see, we have some learning to do about Rachel's past. We'll find out about the baby, and if it survived. And, we'll see if Ross and Rachel will ever let themselves love.

BUT...only if we review.

Now, I feel like the biggest dork (and a little bit like a cheesy game show announcer!), so I'll stop. Lol....

And, here's just a small word of advice to anyone wondering what to do when there's a tornado warning. Dont. Go. Outside. (And don't steal street signs from wealthy neighborhoods! I was at a party on Thursday and there was a tornado touching down like right next door. Their tree fell down, lol, and we had to pick it up. But like, the wind was blowing SO fast and we all thought it would be fun to go outside. Nuh-uh. Not a good idea. Just take it from me. Also, don't, after the storm, go outside take fallen street signs, and paint frogs pink with finger paint. Because some frogs don't like that and jump down your top...Yeah, it was interesting. :))

Alright, I'm going...I promise. ;)

New chapter up soon! Please review!

Mel


	8. So much, so soon

_Hello, everyone! Thank you all for the reviews on chapter seven...they made my day. :) No, seriously. This chapter is actually a lot longer with a lot more talking, so probably more people will enjoy it...I hope. Anyways, please leave me a review! And also, I hope everything in here makes sense. I'm not a doctor, but I looked some stuff up...Apparently, this can happen, so...we'll see. I'm a bit nervous about this chapter, but oh well. What's done is done. ;)_

Ross first noticed the flashing lights as he exited the apartment building.  
  
They swirled around the streets, blaring beams warning of danger and death. He crossed the street, carefully, heading towards the lights.  
  
_'Whatever this is, looks bad,'_ Ross thought.  
  
As he approached the scene, he saw a sight that ripped his heart out and made him fall to his knees.  
  
A truck driver approached him. "Are you alright?"  
  
Ross felt his stomach clench, and he vomited on the spot. Sweat poured down his face, an effect that was muted by the sheets of translucent rain.   
  
"What's wrong? Do you know her?"  
  
Ross managed a weary nod as the paramedics placed Rachel on a cold, gray stretcher, so fitting for the mood.  
  
"Well, who is she?"  
  
Ross choked, "Rachel Green. She's from California...and she's about four months pregnant."  
  
"Jesus God...is she your wife or something?"  
  
Ross said neither no nor yes, but simply a phrase that confused him more than anything, and yet was the only thing that made sense. "I love her."  
  
"Well, then get in there."  
  
The driver shook his head in dismay as he watched the confused man stumble into the ambulance. He wondered what the deal was with those two, and he hoped he hadn't hurt the woman or the baby badly.  
  
A part of him worried that he had just split up a family, but the part he had grown to trust told him that he may have been the saving grace to reunite them.  
  
----  
  
Cool rain trickled down the windshield as a paramedic tried to explain to Ross what had happened.  
  
Ross nodded up and down, hearing the words, but not listening.  
  
Truck going fast.  
  
Rain falling hard.  
  
Walking in middle of street.  
  
Head injury...left side bruised and cut badly.  
  
And worst of all...possible injury to the baby.  
  
The last part was what hit Ross the hardest. He _was_ a father, if only for a short time. And he didn't want the time to end...  
  
The paramedic was putting an IV in Rachel's arm as he explained her situation to Ross. "She should be okay. Miraculously, her cuts are minor, and the only injury she may suffer are some severely bruised, if not broken, ribs on her left side. She's certain to wake up with quite a headache, also."  
  
"Why isn't she awake?" Ross scrunched his eyebrows down.  
  
"Well, we gave her a small shot to put her to sleep. The truck didn't actually _hit_ her, but just barely missed her." He pointed to the cut across Rachel's forehead. "She narrowly missed the truck, but instead, threw herself across the pavement. It's not good by any means, but better than being hit by a truck!"  
  
Ross shook his head in anger. "You act like this is no big deal...like this kind of stuff happens everyday!"  
  
"But it does. Families are made, and some are lost. Husbands and wives and parents and children- they die. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Compared to the others, she's better. It's not her that there's any risk of losing. It's the baby."  
  
Ross felt his heart sink. "When will we know?"  
  
"When we get to the hospital, they'll do an emergency sonogram...only time will tell."  
  
He noticed Ross staring intently down at Rachel's face. "You can hold her hand if you want to."  
  
"Okay," Ross gulped, and gently lifted her soft arm off the lifeless stretcher.  
  
Her nails were perfectly curved, and her hands felt like silk. He gently stroked every ounce of skin to be found upon its perfect canvas. He didn't have much at the moment, but that hand was his for the taking.  
  
Now all he needed was her heart.  
  
----  
  
From the moment Monica answered the phone, she knew something was wrong.  
  
"Ross, what is it?"  
  
Ross looked around the desolate, lonely hallway. Doctors and nurses raced about, knowing their duty was to care for their patients, but feeling indifferent towards the outcome of the care. They were merely doing their job, and nothing more.  
  
"It's Rachel," he snapped back to reality.  
  
"Oh my God. What happened?"  
  
"She was...hit-sort of."  
  
Her heart dropped into her chest, while her voice was reduced to a tinny squeak. "Where are you?"  
  
"The hospital."  
  
"Oh my God! What hit her?"  
  
"A truck..." It was all so surreal.  
  
"A _truck!?!_" By this time, everyone was gathering around a shaking Monica.  
  
"Well, she dodged the truck...but there's this big gash across her forehead and she broke some ribs, they think."  
  
Monica gulped, "And the baby..."  
  
"They don't know yet...I left the room for them to take the sonogram...We'll know in a few minutes, I guess." He felt his face flush and his head spin. He needed to sit down. "Listen, Mon, I gotta go. I want to be in there when she wakes up. The medicine will wear off soon."  
  
"Well, we're all coming up!"  
  
Ross leaned against the wall in despair and utter exhaustion. "No, really. Just stay there. I'll call when we know. It may be awhile, and when she wakes up, we need to talk. Just us."  
  
Monica was unsure, but ultimately gave in. "Well, alright, but call _right_ when you know, Ross."  
  
"I will."  
  
"She loves that baby, you know..."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"I know...She loves you, too, Ross. I can't even tell you how much."  
  
"Try."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just try..." He glanced around and felt tears spring to his eyes. "Please?"  
  
Monica sat down and shooed the others away. She took a deep breath, "Ross, in the past few months I've known this girl, she has done nothing, _nothing_, but talk about how strongly she felt about this guy that got her pregnant." Monica felt herself smile. "I can't even tell you how many nights she's kept me awake over the phone...telling me how afraid she was of her feelings...And I don't know how much you know about...what happened to her, and stuff from her past, but things haven't been easy for her. I'll let her tell you when she's ready...I just want you to know that even if she does keep running away, Ross, it's not because she doesn't love you enough...It's because she loves so much so soon that it scares her."  
  
Speechless, Ross turned his head towards the sleeping beauty in the dreary room. He whispered, barely able to speak, "Monica, I have to go. I'll call you later..."  
  
"Okay," she understood. And then she was gone.  
  
Ross dutifully placed the rocking phone back on the receiver, his sister's words ringing in his head. "She loves so much so soon that it scares her...scares her...scares her..."  
  
As he sat down on the tan chair next to her bedside, he realized that he was scared, too.  
  
Her chest heaved up and down frailly...doctor may have said she'll be alright, but she looked so...little. Ross slowly lifted the blanket off her stomach and gazed at the bump that his baby called home.  
  
He was terrified.  
  
Holding Rachel's hand, he reached and lifted the crinkly gown up, revealing the soft skin of her belly. Cringing, he saw the newly formed bruises running along her left side.  
  
The black and blue bruises ran along her side and stopped shortly above her stomach. Her intruding wounds looked out of place against the creamy peach of skin.  
  
Or was it the skin that was out of place among the bruises?  
  
He slid his hand up and down her stomach and softly kissed the spot where he knew his baby must lay. As serene a moment as it was, he couldn't help but wonder if the baby was still okay.  
  
Ross softly whispered to it, "Hang in there, little baby. You have a lot of people who love you. Especially your Mommy and me...please be okay. However hurt you are, you gotta pull through...We'll love you no matter what." _'And each other, I hope_.'  
  
He brushed his lips against her stomach and brought them together. He swore he felt a flutter in her stomach...and he knew the butterflies were soaring in his own.  
  
Softly, he felt someone squeezing his hand. Ross looked up and saw Rachel, awake.  
  
Tears glistened in her eyes. "What happened?"  
  
"You were kind of...hit by a truck." He cringed. That was _not_ the way he had meant it to come out. _'Great job Ross,_' he thought.  
  
"I was _what_?"  
  
He softly brushed the top of her head with his lips, not wanting the silent moment they had just shared to end. "Well, what is the last thing you remember?"  
  
She pursed her lips in thought. "There was rain...lots of rain. And lights...and screams." Suddenly it dawned on her and she reached down to touch her stomach, where Ross's hand still lingered. "My baby..."  
  
Silence stirred the air, whisking away all noise with a brush of its fleeting wind. Rachel's eyes pleaded with him, pleaded with him not to shatter another dream in her life.  
  
Ross simply shook his head, and Rachel immediately assumed the worst. He scooted in closer and she fell into his arms, her warm stream of tears flooding his shirt with pain. Gently, he stroked her golden hair, whishing there was something- anything- that he could do.  
  
Tearfully, she pulled away. She was biting her bottom lip so intensely that it was almost bleeding. "So...did it...did it..."  
  
No matter how hard she tried, Rachel couldn't bear to think of her child as dead. She tearfully rambled on as Ross simply watched, in awe of her constant beauty.  
  
"I mean, I just bought the first little outfit the other day. It was this- this little white terrycloth jumpsuit, and it said, 'I love my Mommy' on the front of it." Ross smiled and pushed back a falling golden lock back into place with the others. Rachel swallowed hard, and her next words made Ross's heart wrench and fly both at the same time. It was a peculiar sensation, but it was fitting because these were peculiar words. "And...while I was at Babies-R-Us, I picked up another terrycloth suit...just like the first one. Only this one- this one said, 'I love my Daddy.' I thought...that if you came back of I didn't leave again...that the baby could wear it. Please tell me, Ross. What happened to the baby?"  
  
Her eyes bore a hole through his own. No one else had this effect on him. In an act of desperation, she threw her arms around his neck and awaited his answer.  
  
Ross didn't quite know how to break it to her. He sighed, "We don't know yet...no one does. Well, maybe the doctors do and they'll be in any minute...All we can do is hope."  
  
Her body wrecked and heaved with heavy sobs, already mourning the possible loss of her child.  
  
Ross could do nothing but stroke the back of her hair and whisper to her. "I know...I know..."  
  
They rocked back and forth in each other's arms for awhile. Both of them cried, and tried their best to console their weary souls.  
  
Slowly, the door slid open, and in walked Dr. Clemens...clipboard and all.  
  
Ross climbed on the bed with Rachel, noticing the bandage on her forehead for the first time. She buried her head in his shoulder, bracing herself for the uttermost worst. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it with every ounce of strength her feeble body had left.  
  
Dr. Clemens stepped next to the bed and began to speak. Rachel clamped her eyes shut and bit down. Ross felt his heartbeat skyrocket.   
  
They held on, never wanting to let go.  
  
"Hello Ms. Green...Sir." She gave Ross a small nod. "I've got some news..."

_So, obviously, I can't drag out this process of them not knowing for much longer...I promise you'll all know in the next chapter. ;) I hope everything in here made sense...and if not, I'm waiting for flames and criticism...with some not-so-open arms. Ha ha...my attempt to be funny._

_Oh, and whoever said I was drunk at that party...nuh uh! :) Just a little crazy...like some crazy happy people would say, " I was high on life!" Or the last day of school...you pick. ;)_

_And whoever thought that was bad, try having Disney World security called on you! OMG! Talk about the WORST Disney vacation EVER! NEVER go with band...anywhere if you can. Twenty hours on a bus to get incredibly sunburned,and get in trouble EVERY day (If I wasn't missing, I was wandering around Epcot parking lot with my lost friends or giving out my burn cream to people that apparently weren't supposed to have it cause OH...it's not their prescription! OMG...I was just trying to be nice! ;))_

_Lol...please review! :)_

_Mel_


	9. News

_It's storming bad, so a quick A/N. Thanks for the reviews, and I hope you all like this chapter. I think you may. :)_

"I have some news..."  
  
Dr. Clemens continued, "Everything seems to be okay."  
  
Ross and Rachel both breathed heavy sighs of relief at the news. Neither of them knew that five words could change their lives so much, but both felt amazingly blessed to have their child be healthy.  
  
"We have a clear heartbeat on the sonogram, and the baby's blood pressure and heart rate are normal. You both are quite lucky to have survived that. Rarely does this happen, I must say. Someone up there must think that you three deserve a second chance," Dr. Clemens smiled.  
  
Rachel buried her face deeper into Ross's comforting shoulder and let her tears release the agony that had been trapped within her. Tears melted into his shirt and soaked her hair, but neither cared. "Oh thank you so much," she managed to whisper gratefully.  
  
Looking up at the nurse, Ross agreed. "Thank you so very much for giving us that news. You've definitely made our...lives."  
  
Tapping her clipboard nervously, Dr. Clemens frowned. "Well, there IS more to it. You see, now that the baby has been through such trauma, there is a greater risk for the child being mentally ill or having some sort of problem."  
  
Their hearts plummeted.  
  
"But on the bright side, a child with special problems isn't unhealthy. All the tests we ran were very good, but there is just a slight chance that something may have happened to the baby on impact. Honestly, I don't know how everything here was fine, but...well, there are miracles. There are some tests we can run to tell you if the child will have any special needs, but we strongly recommend against it."  
  
It only took one powerful look for both Ross and Rachel to know what they wanted to do.  
  
"No," Ross spoke up. "We'll love the baby no matter what it's like. We're just happy that the baby will be born healthy...won't it?"  
  
"God-willing," Dr. Clemens replied. "Again, a baby with special needs isn't unhealthy. Just different and wonderful in their own way. You made the right choice."  
  
"I'm just so happy the baby is okay," sniffed Rachel. "I just couldn't...couldn't do this." Her voice trailed off as she cast her eyes downward, studying the far-from-intricate patterns crisscrossing the scratchy beige material of the comforter.  
  
"I know," whispered Ross, rubbing circles with his hand soothingly across her back.  
  
"No you don't...we need to talk."  
  
Dr. Clemens sensed that she needed to make her departure. "Well, Ms. Green, I'll check in with you tomorrow. Press the button by your bedside if you need anything. Anything," she stressed. "If you two have any more questions, just let me know." She headed towards the door.  
  
Just when they thought she was gone, Dr. Clemens peeked her head back in. "And by the way, congratulations. In a few months, you'll both be the proud parents of a very blessed, beautiful little girl. The sonogram told all," she smiled. Finally, she exited.  
  
Excitedly, Ross grabbed Rachel's hand. "Did you hear that? We're having a girl!"  
  
She simply stared blankly out the window and watched the smoke from the roof swirl around the thick night sky and get entangled somewhere between the few dusty stars and heavy clouds. Opaque blackness surrounded everything else.  
  
"Aren't you excited? Everything's great! We have each other, a healthy baby girl...what more could we possibly want? ...Rach?"  
  
"She would be two now," murmured Rachel.  
  
"Who," Ross asked, confused. "Who would be two, sweetie?"  
  
"My daughter."  
  
Jaw dropping, Ross felt his mouth go dry. "Your...who?"  
  
"My daughter, Ross," she explained, as if it were so obvious.  
  
"Since when do you have a daughter?"  
  
"Since about three years ago when my fiancee and I found out we were going to have a baby. A girl." She smiled off into the distance, eyes misting in sweet remembrance. "Her name was going to be Jenna."  
  
"What...what happened? What about the father...What?" Ross was at a loss for words.  
  
"His name was Dave," she cringed. "And I don't know what happened to him. I hope to God he is burning in Hell."  
  
He kissed the top of her head and smoothed her golden hair. "Why don't you tell me what happened?"  
  
"I don't want to tell you."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"You may think less of me if I do..."  
  
He watched her brush her golden hair away from her face. Softly, she rubbed her stomach and stared at the blank wall, face tearful.  
  
Her mere presence lit up his life for the few days he'd known her. She was a glowing angel. His angel.  
  
"That's not possible."  
  
"Alright," she sounded unsure. "About four years ago, I met Dave. I was just out of high school. Stupid...vulnerable...insecure and wanting to be loved. He seemed sweet at the time, always bringing me flowers and stuff. I thought it was fate, you know?" She shook her head in dismay. "I was so stupid."  
  
"No you weren't. You were young," Ross whispered softly. "We've all been there."  
  
"Not like I have, though. Nothing like I have."  
  
Ross wondered what could have happened to her, and wished that there was some way to reverse things, but it wasn't possible. All he could do was be her shoulder to cry on.  
  
"It wasn't long before we moved in together. I grew up in Beverly Hills, he lived in a dingy L.A. apartment...needless to say my family thought I was crazy for moving in with him, but I didn't listen. Love is blind, they said. And apparently, so was I. Before long, the pressures of a young relationship took its toll, and he began drinking a lot...and beating me."  
  
Ross gasped as Rachel started to cry from the painful memories that ripped at her heart.  
  
"I know...it's terrible to hear, and to live...trust me on that one. It was like the first real relationship I'd been in, and I didn't really know that was abnormal or anything. Looking back, it was so obvious. He had a dead end job, I was a waitress...we were hopeless kids. And the next thing I knew, I was pregnant at 21. I thought it'd be okay, you know? Fun, in a way. Well, I was about five months along when Dave came home, rip-roaring drunk. He had lost his job, and was so mad...so mad. He started beating me...saying that...saying that if I didn't get knocked up then we wouldn't need the money as bad and he could just leave..." Rachel started sobbing. "And he hit me in the stomach...the baby was too much trouble...but I loved her. I tried to leave, but the more I resisted, the harder he hit me. The next thing I knew, I miscarried."  
  
"Oh my God...that's awful," Ross choked as he felt tears identical to hers spring to his own eyes.  
  
"And the worst part is, it was my fault!" She buried her head in her fragile hands.  
  
"What?! Sweetie, how on EARTH is that YOUR fault?"  
  
"Well, I WAS the one who got pregnant, and I WAS the one who lost the baby. And I DID leave him after that."  
  
"But it's NOT your fault! You should in NO way struggle with guilt over something this horrific. He beat YOU. You both took part in making the baby. I can't do anything now but tell you not to blame yourself. You are the most wonderful, kind, giving woman I've ever met, and nothing- NOTHING- could ever change my views on that. I- I love you."  
  
Her head titled up, lips parting wide. "You...what?"  
  
"I love you," he said more confidently. "It's NOT too soon, and these feelings are real. I don't care what you say now. This IS fate, and nothing will stop us now. You were right."  
  
"Oh...oh my God...I love you, too!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on his lips.   
  
As his skin grazed hers, they realized something- they felt complete.  
  
----  
  
After a few moments of realizations, Ross pulled away, realizing that a few pieces of the puzzle were scattered. "What ever happened after you left Dave?"  
  
"I don't know where he is...but I moved back with my parents. I left last December because I knew I needed a change of scenery. There were too many painful memories of what could have, and should have, been. They don't even know I'm pregnant now, or how I'm doing."  
  
"You probably need to talk to them, Rach."  
  
"I know."  
  
"If you ever see Dave again, you could press charges."  
  
"Yeah...but I'm afraid of what he would do to me now. I can't lose another baby, Ross. I just can't deal with it again."  
  
"I understand," he kissed her fluttering eyelashes.  
  
"I'm just so scared of being hurt again, Ross. That's why I was so reluctant to be with you."  
  
"I'll never ever hurt you. This much I can promise. As long as you're with me, I promise to give you my all...and nothing less."  
  
She smiled and ran her fingertip gently across his chin. "Promise?"  
  
"You're all I've waited for my whole life, and I'm not about to lose you now."

More to come soon, please review!

Mel


	10. California, here we come

**Hey, guys, sorry for the MAJOR delay. :) But here's an update of a story everyone thought I forgot about, lol. I'm very sorry for not updating this sooner, and sorry this chapter isn't longer. **

**I've just been so busy (I know, the standard excuse!) and this has been in the back of my mind. I've been meaning to update this forever, and now I finally have. **

**Enjoy, and please, please, please leave me a review so I know people are still reading this and I should still continue. :)**

__

_1 Month Later...  
_  
"Ross?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you think you could help me here?"  
  
He rushed into the freshly painted nursery in their new apartment where Rachel was attempting to lift a bucket of baby toys and place it on the shelf.  
  
Grabbing the bucket from her and putting it on the floor, he gently admonished her. "Sweetie, you know you're not supposed to lift anything. Go lay down on the couch and I'll bring you something to drink."  
  
"Alright," Rachel gave in. "But I'll have you know that I feel bad for not helping. You've done so much for me."  
  
"No," he planted a kiss on top of her nose." You've done so much for _me_."  
  
Ambling over to the couch, Rachel couldn't believe her luck. Here she was, a new apartment, a loving boyfriend, and a baby on the way.  
  
She eased herself down on the couch and gazed out the window, marveling at the good luck she now had in her life.  
  
_'It's almost too good to be true,'_ she wistfully sighed.  
  
"Here, Rach, have some water," Ross handed her a glass as he entered the living room.  
  
"Thanks, honey."  
  
Some people thought it strange when they discovered the two had only been dating- truly together- for about one month. Between their actions, the way they addressed one another, and the way they could gaze into each others eyes without speaking, and know exactly what the other was thinking...it seemed as if the two had shared a lifetime of memories.  
  
"Yeah, no problem," he patted her on the knee while gently massaging her swollen feet. "Wow, Rach, don't you think you should prop these up or something? I mean, they're pretty swollen."  
  
She grinned at the small things he did...those little things that showed her how much he cared. "Well, I hate feeling like I need all this extra attention. I'm pregnant, not dying!"  
  
Still, Ross clucked his tongue and reached for a pillow in a box labeled, conveniently pillows. They had lived in their new apartment for a grand total of four days and were nowhere near unpacked yet.  
  
"Here you go, maybe this will help."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He propped her feet up on the soft pillow, and something in the box caught his eye. It was her box, and inside it was a frame.  
  
The picture gracing the frame was the very first one taken of them, about a couple of weeks ago. Monica's apartment served as the background, and the two were simply smiling, holding on to one another with a look that promised to never let go.  
  
But the picture wasn't what disturbed Ross; evidently, the frame had broken in the move, displaying several other not so welcome memories.  
  
"Uh, Rach?" Ross picked up the spare pieces of shattered glass and the remaining pictures. "What's this?"  
  
"Oh my God," she gasped. "I thought I got rid of those..."  
  
In the palm of his hand lay her troubled past: Rachel and a man, his arm was around her but she was clearly unhappy; a family portrait taken years ago when she was just fifteen; a faded sonogram, the only memory she had of her first child; and a picture of the ocean...its mounting tide captured forever in a snapshot that couldn't be taken back, much like her memories.  
  
"Rach...is this the guy...who I think he is?"  
  
Rachel bit her lip and buried her head into the couch.  
  
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything."  
  
It had been an entire month since they talked about what they had discussed in the hospital. Since then, life had gone on in a generally carefree fashion.  
  
But now, the demons of Rachel's past were trying to claw their way back in to her semi-perfect existence.  
  
"No," Rachel sniffed as she sat up. "I'm okay...and yes, that was who you think."  
  
"Dave?" he cringed. It was hard to say his name.  
  
"Yeah...and the other pictures..."  
  
Gratefully, he handed them back to her.  
  
"...this was...supposed to be my daughter..." she trailed of, subsconciously rubbing her stomach.  
  
Without thinking, Ross grabbed her other hand and took it in his own, offering any comfort he could provide.  
  
"Is this your family?" he asked, trying to steer her thoughts towards some hopefully more pleasant memories.  
  
"Yeah," she gave the slightest hint of a smile. "That's them all right. God, I look so young! I must have been not even sixteen."  
  
"Not even sixteen, and still a knockout."  
  
"Aw, that's sweet, but I know you're lying."  
  
"I'd never lie to you," he insisted, amazed at how quickly her mood had shifted.  
  
"Thanks...it's good to know."  
  
"Are these your sisters?"  
  
She smiled wistfully. "Amy is the older one, Jill's the baby. And my parents are behind them." She sat up so they were both upright on the couch, examining her past.  
  
"I like this picture of the ocean," commented Ross. "I mean, how incredible is it that the ocean keeps rolling in those waves, keeps turning the tide...and you got a picture of it when it's doing neither. It's like an eternal freeze-frame that you captured in the palm of your hand."  
  
"Wow...I've never thought of it like that...I wish I could get another shot of it."  
  
He noticed the wistfulness in her voice as she reminisced about her family and the ocean.  
  
"You really miss it there, huh?"  
  
"I guess so. I mean, I've never been happier..."  
  
"But..."  
  
"But somehow, I feel like I'm still on a vacation away from home, Ross. I've only lived here for about five months. I guess it'll just take awhile for me to be able to call New York my home."  
  
"I understand completely." 'And it probably doesn't help that she hasn't been home since then.' "You know," Ross continued, "why don't we go there?"  
  
"California?"  
  
"Yeah, think about it. We both really need a vacation. I mean, you've spent five months now, pregnant, in the hospital, moving in with complete strangers-"  
  
She smiled as she interrupted, "Complete strangers that have changed our lives."  
  
"Yes, complete strangers that have changed both of our lives. But, you've also been in the hospital again, moved in with me, and...I just think we could both use a break."  
  
Slowly, she slid her arm around him. "You know what? I think you're right."  
  
All other thoughts of importance fled their minds. The unpacked boxes would still be there when they got back...and so would their messy apartment.  
  
Neither one of them had particularly great jobs, but somehow, they knew that something better would come along when the time was right. After all, it always did.  
  
They had the burdens of the past, and the potential sorrows of tomorrow. But for now, they had the moment, and in the moment, they were kissing, not thinking about anything except how perfectly her hand fit inside of his.  
----

**Yeah, I know, it seems happy enough...for now. This actually seemed like an ideal place to actually end the fic, so I may just do that if I don't get enough response. (Wow, that was mean!) I just don't know how much more I should, or even can, drag this one out. (It's been almost a year since I've started this...wow...and to think it was going to be a Christmas story, lol. Maybe it'll be done by Christmas 2004. :)) There's basically only three more- at most- chapters left to write. But the next chapter ends with a cliffhanger that's one of the biggest I've had, so there's still plenty left to resolve. ;)**

**Have a great night, guys, and please take thirty seconds out of your day to review for me. (And some other people, too. I'm guilty of the speed-read and no-review as much as the next person, but I'm promising to review more, too. There's some great fics out there with hardly any reviews...they really need some recognition, you know? ;))**

**Mel**


	11. Dangerous ocean tides

_Wow, thanks for all of the great reviews, guys. They really helped me with this chapter, which is by far the longest and most eventful so far. _

_I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! (And I hope you didn't eat too much turkey like some people...I really need to know how to limit myself, lol) _

_I know that the cliffhanger is big at the end of this chapter, lol, but it makes up for some not so big ones in the past. I'm not doing it for reviews (hehe) but it was part of the story. :) The more reviews I get, the quicker I work. Trust me. _

_This chapter is loooong, so be prepared. It was originally like two chapters, so that explains it a little bit. _

_Please read, review, and enjoy!_

"Oh my God, look at the ocean! It's so…blue!"

Rachel laughed at Ross's blatant observations. "Good job, honey, I'm glad you noticed."

Playfully, he swatted at her nose. "I'm just saying…I haven't seen it in a long time."

"So, did it get bluer since the last time you saw it?"

He smiled and slipped his hand inside hers. "You know what? It just might have."

Sighing, he watched the waves roll into shore, crashing against the occasional rock as it did. There was nothing as magical as watching the saltwater grace the silken shores of sand, the waves rise and fall against the billowing westward winds, the seagulls soar above the rising tide…

"Honey? As much as you love watching the ocean- and I love it, too- don't you think we should go check in our room?" She leaned heavily against the wall, dropping her bags on the ground. "I mean, the ocean will still be here when we get back- I promise."

He turned around and picked up her bags. "Okay, but if it's not here, then we're going to have some serious problems."

Laughing, she followed him to the hotel, secretly stealing glances at the ocean on the way.

----

"I can't believe it's raining," mumbled Ross as he stared through the translucent window.

Rachel lay on the bed, tracing the patterns of the ceiling with her eyes and listening to the electronic hum the TV emitted. "Well, we are in California." God, being able to say that felt so good to her. "The weather is different here. I mean, one second it's raining and the next, the sun is shining."

"Well, here's to hoping the sun comes out," Ross muttered and headed over towards the bed.

"Come here, sit down," she beckoned, sliding with some difficulty over to the other side of the bed.

"It's okay, I'll move. You just stay put." He smiled and gave her stomach a reassuring pat. "You two ladies can just relax."

She grinned, wondering if she should breach the subject that she had been anxious about for quite some time. "Um, Ross?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you, -I mean, it's about time that we did- started thinking about…names for our daughter?" There, it was out. She had heard in the past that the most common thing expectant parents fought over were names. So far, they had done well with disagreements, but she didn't want to ruin the one perfect thing she had.

"Hmm…well, sort of. Have you?" Obviously, he was just as nervous.

"A little. What have you thought of?"

Great, she was making him go first. "Well, I've always liked the name Karen." Upon seeing her scrunch her nose in distaste, he immediately regretted sharing. "Why, you don't like that name?"

"Um…not really. I mean, it's my middle name, you know."

"Really? I didn't know that." Come to think of it, there were lots of things he didn't know about her.

She laughed and patted his knee. "Really, Ross, it's okay. You better tell me your middle name, though, because I don't want to risk suggesting it!"

"Well, unless you have some urge to name our daughter Eugene, then I think we'll be okay."

Rachel hiccupped and put her hand over her mouth to stifle an impending giggle.

"I know, I know. When my parents were naming me they envisioned a ninety year old civil war veteran."

"No, it's not that." She pointed to her stomach and laughed. "She's kicking me, and it tickles!"

Slowly, Ross put his hand where he imagined his daughter's feet to be. "Wow, you're right. She is kicking hard."

Almost immediately, Rachel's eyes took on a starry look. "Maybe this means she'll be head of the cheerleading squad."

" Or maybe she'll win a karate tournament," Ross dreamed aloud.

Each caught the other's eye, and began to smile. "I'm sure when we think of a name, it'll be perfect," Rachel concluded.

"Yeah. I'm sure it will be."

----

In silence, they both sat for a while, even enjoying the tap-dance the rain performed upon the rooftop.

"So…what now?" Ross asked. They didn't really have any plans except that they were going to stay in California for a week, and possibly pop in on Rachel's parents.

"I don't know…what should we do?" She lightly blew a strand of hair from her face.

"Well, you're the native, what's fun here?"

"Um…well, there's the ocean. And shopping…and I do want to stop in on my parents."

"I can't believe they don't know you're pregnant…" His voice trailed off, not wanting her to slip back into a state of semi-depression.

"Yeah, I know. We should probably do that first. The last thing I want to do is worry about what they're going to say for the whole trip." She got up and started gathering her purse and shoes.

"Wait a second. We're going now?" Ross's voice became shrill.

She looked a bit surprised. "Well, yeah. Why not?"

"They're my possible future-in-laws and the last thing I want to do is look like some guy that knocked their daughter up and is living with her."

She laid her head on his shoulder and rubbed his back with the palm of her hand. "Don't ever think of yourself like that. You're much more to me than just a guy I slept with. And I'm sure they'll be able to see that once they realize how happy I am."

Despite her words, his worries were not cured. "I hope so."

"Don't worry. If anyone should worry, it should be me. I mean, I move out to live with a man that did nothing but cause me grief, move back in without so much as telling them why, leave on the drop of a dime to go to New York, don't call them for six months, and return pregnant with a new boyfriend. Trust me, you're not the one to worry here."

Her words were old news to him, minus the part about her not telling her parents why she moved back in after Dave. "Um…so you never told your parents…about Dave?"

She flinched slightly, but not nearly as much as she had been. "No. I mean, they knew I had a boyfriend, but that was it. They never knew about the baby or anything. As far as they know, I moved back in because we broke up. I just never thought they needed to know."

"You probably should have told them, you know." He didn't want to preach, but yet he didn't want her to think it was okay to bottle up severe secrets and hope they didn't resurface.

"Yeah, but what's done is done."

He didn't know what had come over her, but the sudden nonchalant attitude she had towards Dave and the baby had to be something bad. Did she feel like she was a burden towards him? Was she afraid she couldn't trust him? What would happen if she started keeping things from him? All of these thoughts plagued Ross's mind.

"I guess…I just want you to know that I'm here for you, okay?"

"Thanks, honey." She grabbed his hand and pulled him out the door. "Come on, now. We have to hail a cab…they live kind of far away."

He trailed slightly behind her, watching the rain crash and slide down the full-length windowpanes of the hotel. He supposed it was good that she was feeling better. After all, when she was so sad and depressed, he felt so helpless.

Outside, the ocean roared against the unsuspecting shore.

But then why did he feel like her new attitude was merely a charade?

----

"Wow. This is where you grew up?!" Ross exclaimed, tilting his head back to look at the towering white palace-like house standing before him.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, you know. I mean, I'm not some snob like…well, you'll see."

Somehow, her words didn't comfort him much.

The cab driver tipped his hat at Ross as he opened the door for Rachel and winked. "Good luck, buddy," he whispered.

Oh, boy.

Ross grabbed her hand as they began the climb of the steep stone walkway. He noticed he was shaking…or was it her? Sometimes, it was hard to tell where he ended and where she began.

"Well, this is it," she breathed and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Steadily, she reached for the doorbell and rang it, echoing the chimes down to the private gate and well-kept flowerbeds.

A woman in a drab gray dress answered the door. Ross hoped this was her mother; she didn't look too intimidating.

"Hi, we're here to see Sandra and Leonard Green," Rachel brightly announced.

"Come inside," the woman droned, eyeing the pair up and down.

"That's not your mom?" Ross whispered to her.

"Are you kidding? That's one of the maids."

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, be glad I'm nothing like them." She furtively glanced as she was talking.

Just then, voices began to echo through the marble halls. "I know, Leonard, we've been over this far too many times. Jill will marry whom she wishes, so long as the wedding is at the country club."

"You and your country club." An older, whiskey-worn voice complained.

"You and your boat!" Mocked the woman.

"It's more work than you know, Sandra. The oiling, care-taking, sailing…"

Descending down the staircase, the bickering pair noticed Rachel and Ross cowering at the bottom of the stairs.

Sandra noticed them first. "Oh my God…Rachel, is that you?"

Rachel stepped forward, dropping Ross's hand. "Hi, Mom."

"Is that my little pumpkin, stopping in for a visit?" remarked Dr. Green.

"It's me, Daddy." She smiled and held her hands in front of her to hide her bulging belly.

"Well come here, then, and give me a hug!" He scooped his daughter up in his arms.

"Ah, Daddy, not too tight! Let go, please!"

He held her at arms length, still not noticing Ross. "Why, you always used to love my big bear hugs, what's gotten into you?"

"Oh my God," exclaimed Sandra. "You're pregnant!"

Sheepishly, she looked at the ground, scoffing the marble tiles with the toe of her boot. "Hey, you noticed," Rachel mumbled.

Leonard looked at her very seriously. "Sweetheart, who did this to you?"

"Rachel? Who is this?" Her mother looked Ross up and down with distaste.

Ross felt his face flush as he headed towards the door. He offered out the bunch of flowers he had been holding for them. "Me? I'm just the flower boy. Here you are, Mrs. Green. I'll be going now."

Rachel giggled, and grabbed Ross's arm. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Ross Geller. My boyfriend."

Dr. Green shook his hand warningly. "Is he the one that did this to you?"

"Daddy! He didn't 'do' this to me. I love him."

"Leonard," Sandra grabbed his arm. "Don't hurt the boy. I'm sure Rachel has a perfectly reasonable answer as to why she is involved with…him. Now, sweetie, what is it?"

"I already told you," she stated slowly, putting her arm around Ross. "I'm in love with him."

"As if that's good enough," huffed Leonard.

"So you're Ross?" Sandra walked over to him and placed her hand out.

"Uh, yeah."

"And so intelligent!"

Ross felt anger bubble inside himself at his words. Surely, he could have thought of a better phrase than 'Uh, yeah.'

"So, Ross," Dr. Green stepped forward. "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Daddy," Rachel breathed warningly.

"What? I would like to know."

"Well, okay." He stammered. "We're living together now…and…uh, we haven't really talked about it, but I'm sure after the baby comes we'll get married."

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. "Our apartment is really nice, and Daddy, Ross is a doctor."

"Is that right? I'm a doctor also. So tell me, what are you a doctor of?"

Ross gulped. "Paleontology."

"Ha! Isn't that dinosaur bones?"

"Dinosaurs and all living creatures during the Mesozoic, Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods," he muttered.

"Speak up, boy, when you talk to me!" Leonard bellowed.

Rachel pleadingly beseeched her mother via eye contact. "So, Rachel. When did this"- Sandra gestured towards her stomach-"happen to you?"

Rachel smiled, glad for the change of subject. "Well, I'm almost six months along."

"Dear, it's dangerous to fly during your third trimester, you know." Sandra clucked her tongue.

"Dangerous?" interrupted Leonard. "Ross, you've been putting my daughter into danger?"

"No, sir. She's not quite into her third trimester yet, so we're okay." Ross breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he had answered something right.

"Oh, he's got a smart mouth, doesn't he?"

"No, sir. I was just trying to explain to you…"

"You think I need explaining to? I'm a doctor, Ross. I know these things."

"Okay."

The Greens stared the pair down, Sandra with interest at the new man in her daughter's life, and Leonard with great disdain.

After an intruding, uncomfortable silence, Rachel took the initiative. "Well, we'd better be going. There's a lot for us to do, and not a lot of time. It was good to see you guys. We're living in New York now, here's our number." She handed them a slip of paper. "Give us a call, and I'll let you know when the baby is born."

Rachel hugged her parents and Ross retreated towards the door.

Once they were outside, Ross breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh my God. How did you come out of that family?"

"It wasn't easy, let me tell you," she laughed. "But now that it's over, let's go have some fun. It stopped raining, so we can go shopping or whatever."

"Okay."

"Wait, Rachel, wait!" Sandra called, precariously teetering down the stairs in her stilettos.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"Sweetie, I just wanted to tell you that I'm happy for you." She smiled at Ross. "You both look so adorable together. And Ross, I apologize for my husband's behavior. He's always been like that with Rachel's boyfriends."

Ross chuckled. "That's good to know."

"How much longer are you kids going to be in town?"

"We're here for a week, Mom."

"Well, how about you two come back…let me see…In three days, and we'll all have a nice dinner. Celia will cook something wonderful, and I'll make sure Amy and Jill are home. And by that time, your father will have cooled down."

Rachel glanced at Ross, and then nodded. "Sure, Mom. That sounds like fun."

"Wonderful. Now, I can't keep your father waiting much longer. In case you couldn't tell, we were in the middle of a very important discussion. We can't decide where Jill should get married."

"Jill's getting married?"

"Why yes, dear, you didn't know?" Sandra glanced up towards the sky, as if she were remembering something. "That's right, you wouldn't, would you. Yes, he's a perfectly nice man, went through the same torture Ross did with your father…We just can't decide where the wedding should happen."

Ross decided to join in, "Well, where does Jill want to get married?"

Sandra dismissed him with the flick of her wrist. "Once you get to know Leonard, you'll understand why he needs to pick everything for everyone. But I really must be going. You two take care, and I'll see you in a few days."

Rachel smiled. "There's going to be three of us soon, Mom." She pointed to her stomach.

"Oh, my! I completely forgot! Now is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a girl," Rachel practically beamed.

"I can't wait to be a grandmother! Your father and I will be sure to fly out for the birth." She saw Ross's look of horror. "Or maybe I'll come alone." She kissed Rachel on the cheek and shook Ross's hand. "See you soon!"

Driving down the long stretches of boulevards, roads, and highways, Ross contemplated the visit. It was safe to say Sandra liked him, but Leonard…well, there were bound to be issues.

"Thanks for putting up with my parents so well today," whispered Rachel as she played with his fingers.

"You're welcome. I'm not sure they were thrilled with me, but I'll live."

She giggled. "You did great, much better than any of the others."

"Thanks, that's reassuring."

An hour passed, and soon they were nearing the hotel.

"Isn't Los Angeles great?" remarked Ross. "I mean, it's like New York…with the ocean."

"Yeah, I've always liked San Diego better, but that's probably because I'm from there."

"You know what? Let's get out here and walk back to the hotel, okay? It's not too far, and there's lots of cool little shops. Maybe you could shop like you wanted to."

She didn't want to tell him that she was worn-out and just wanted to go back to the hotel and order room service, so she agreed. "Yeah, that sounds great," she tried to stifle a yawn.

Once they were out of the cab, they began their trek down the strip. "Look at all these stores!" exclaimed Ross.

"Wow, honey, I didn't know you were that enthusiastic about shopping."

He didn't want to say it was all for her benefit, so he nodded along. "Yeah, shopping, buying, spending. You gotta love it! So where to?"

In order to stand upright, Rachel had to lean against him, her hand tucked securely within his. "Um…how about here?" She gestured towards a small shop parallel to a dingy old diner that she remembered but couldn't quite place in her memory.

"After you," he escorted her in, marveling at how she hardly looked pregnant from behind.

"Wow," Rachel breathed as she looked up and down at the endless rows of baby attire. "It's like a baby mall."

Yet her amazement was short-lived as she became more tired by the second. "Hey Ross?" she called out to him as he examined a crib they both fell in love with.

"Yeah," he hurried over to her.

"I think I'm going to go sit outside on that bench for a minute. I'm really tired, but I'll wait for you." Her face was almost ashen, and her body looked weak.

"Here, I'll come with you. Maybe we should go." He started to put down the stuffed dinosaurs, but she protested.

"No, you shop. I know now how much you enjoy it," she faintly smiled.

Since he had plans to surprise her with the crib, he gave in. "Okay, but I'll be out in like five minutes, so don't go anywhere."

Leaning on her tiptoes, she smiled and kissed him tenderly. "I wouldn't dream of it."

The cool air felt awakening, and within a minute, Rachel felt better. 'Maybe I should go back in,' she thought. She turned her back and looked in the window where Ross was obviously trying to purchase something quickly. 'He'll be out in a second, so I think I'll just sit here.'

She shut her eyes and let the sweet breeze drench her in its perfumes smelling of saltwater and sand. She sighed and placed her hand on her stomach, suddenly aware that she had the odd sensation of being watched.

Carefully, she opened one eye and caught sight of the restaurant in front of her. Why did it look so familiar?

----

No. It couldn't be.

It simply couldn't be her. After all these years, had she come back?

He always knew she'd come back. She needed him. He needed her.

So they'd had their problems, everyone did. She was back.

To hell with work, he'd always said, so he dropped the oven mitt he had in his hand and ventured outside.

To stare at her. He always had when she was asleep.

So he'd been drunk. Everyone's been there.

And the baby? It was better off this way.

She was back. And he would claim her.

----

Someone was watching her.

It was a silly notion, really. It had to be in her head, a mere figment of her imagination.

There were hundreds of people around her, no one was interested.

Then- someone was next to her. Breathing hot breath in her ear, whispering phrases that terrified her.

It all clicked now. The restaurant, the street, she was, after all, in her old neighborhood.

Get up! Her voice screamed to her in her head. Run!

But she remained seated, shaking amidst the warm breeze.

"Rachel, baby," the voice breathed. "You're back. And you've been busy."

She tried to move, but couldn't. She tried to speak, but wouldn't.

Where was Ross?!

"Why don't you come with me…"

He grabbed her arm, resurfacing the old scars that she had.

"We need to talk."

----

Ross paid the cashier, feeling quite pleased with himself. He had bought the crib for their daughter, and for Rachel. She had fallen in love with it the moment she set eyes on it.

He tucked his hand into his pocket, thinking that he'd like to take them out to a nice dinner after she'd rested. There, he'd explain to her that shopping was not his passion, but he didn't mind going with her. And there…he'd do something he'd been meaning to do for a while.

He smiled to himself as he opened the door. "Rach?"

Ross glanced around. Where was she? "Rach?"

He tried to reason with himself: She went to the bathroom, to get a glass of water, anything.

The streets of Los Angeles had never seemed so silent.

She said she wouldn't leave, she wouldn't dream of it…

Yet as he looked around at the vacant bench, busy streets, and dingy diner, he knew one thing for sure.

She was gone.

----

_Uh-oh...things aren't looking too good, are they? ;) Maybe if you guys reviewed, they'd get better. lol. _

_Thanks for all the reviews on Beautiful (which I FINALY updated!!) and To be with you (even though not many ppl reviewed.)_

_Updates will be up ASAUR...(As soon as you review) lol...at least I'm creative with my requests. :)_

_Have a great night, and sorry about the cliffhanger...lol...well, not really, but this chappy took AGES to write. :)_

_Please review!_

_Mel_


	12. The Devil's Playground

_**Wow, thanks everyone for all the nice reviews! I know I risk sounding redundant, but I really do appreciate them. Really. **_

_**While writing this chapter, I felt the need to, er, swear a lot. Lol, while some of you may be comfortable in hearing them, others may not like seeing the words. I honestly don't think that I have that many bad words in here, but if you think the rating needs to be changed, I'll go ahead and say that this chapter is a very strong PG-13. :) And I hope that works. **_

_**I'm actually the kind of person who rarely cusses, so don't thik that I have nothing better to say. But given the situations, there needed to be some strong wording. lol.**_

_**And, to wrap up this A/N, guess what? This fic is almost over. That's right, almost. I'm thinking possibly one more chapter after this, and at most two more. **_

_**If this chapter seems far too dramatic or improbable, please let me know. Sometimes I go overboard, and I let my imagination run away with me. If I let it run, I guarentee you that all my fics would include death, divorce, pregnancy, abuse, lying, car crashes, comas, etc. And that's only the good things. lol. **_

_**Even though I may think this isn't too dramatic, I'm not sure what the opinion of the general public will be. And since that's who I'm writing this for, the opinions matter. :)**_

_**Anyways, please enjoy and leave me a review! I'm pushing 100 for the first time on this fic (having only gotten to 100 on one other fic,Let me let go) and I would really like to get there!**_

_**Your opinion matters! lol, Just think: leaving a review is your way to voice your opinion. Am I the only opinionated one here? **_

_**lol, Well, seeing as how this ramble goes on and on, I'm sure this won't get many reviews. Please prove me wrong. :)**_

So many thoughts raced through his head, each more harrowing than the next. For a mere minute, he had stepped inside to purchase a crib. Sixty seconds later, she was gone.

Gone, he thought. As in not present, by his side. It wasn't like she was an infant, incapable of being alone. Ross shook his head in confusion. Was he simply being irrational and possessive? Or was there really something wrong?

Ross sat down on the bench for a moment, trying to think of what to do. A small object poked him in the back, yet he made no attempts to move. Pain was only a feeling, and there were far stronger ones than it.

Shaking slightly, he dug into his pocket and pulled out his cell-phone, frantically whispering words of hope through his gritted teeth. It rang once, twice, three times…

In disbelief, he reached behind him and pulled out the object that had been burdening his back. And it took him less than a minute to figure out where her phone was.

----

"Get off of me!" Rachel shrieked and pushed the man away. The man. The man who had haunted her for a year, his face alone made her wince at what she had never had. The way he snarled through his teeth, yellowed with premature age; the way he laughed, like shards of glass striking the surface of a row of pearls; the way he would hold her so tightly to him. It had all been sweet at first, the closeness, the togetherness.

Yet soon, she found herself wanting to break away, escape from his everlasting stronghold of her life and will.

Dave smiled at her, exposing begrimed teeth. He had been a much handsomer man only a few years ago. What time did to him, Rachel didn't know.

But she did know what he was doing to her time.

"Dave, let go of my arm!" She pulled back, holding onto her purse all the while trying to shove him away.

"Baby," he whined. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Don't call me baby," she grimaced. "You have nothing to do with me, and I'm not a part of your life anymore. You know that."

An insidious grin crawled across his pockmarked skin. "Know what, baby?"

"That I'm not in your fucking life anymore!"

He dropped her arm, startled at her sudden use of vulgarity. "Are you saying I mean nothing to you?"

Defiantly, Rachel faced him, nose to nose. She knew she should run, a part of her felt it. She was only a short distance from Ross, he could probably hear her. Yet this was something she needed to resolve on her own. In a brash voice, she snarled. "You mean nothing to me."

"And I suppose that fuck-face in the store means a lot to you?" He spit on the ground, dangerously close to the toe of her shoe.

"He means everything. And you had better leave me alone or else."

Rachel turned away heavily on her heel, prepared to leave him behind with only her words of malice and warning.

Before she had walked more than five steps, Dave grabbed her arm and pulled her into a nearby alley.

The tips of his fingers clawed into her flesh, opening the scar tissue and releasing the blood of the wounds she had suffered so long ago. With a muffled sigh and a harrowing scream, she realized something she should have known long before: the wounds would never go away.

----

"Rach?" He called out as he paced up and down the streets. Surely, she would be somewhere. "Rachel? Rachel Green?"

Ross raced up and down the street, searching in every eclectic store as he went. His mind could only focus on the last thing she had said. '_Do you swear you won't go anywhere?'_

_'I wouldn't dream of it.'_

Ross hurried up and down the street, still crying out her name. Perhaps he was overreacting. After all, she was a grown woman, perfectly able to take care of herself all alone. But a part of him wanted her to need him, he enjoyed being the comforter, the one she sought solace in when she had no where to go but down. Ross knew it couldn't stay like this forever; Rachel was merely going through difficult times, and he just happened to be there. Ross shook his head at himself.

_'Why is everything so complicated? If I were normal, I wouldn't race up and down the crowded streets of Los Angeles, screaming out the name of my girlfriend who 'disappeared.' People don't disappear, they leave. She is just in the bathroom or something. She lost her phone and went back to find it. She went in the store and I didn't see her…Maybe she's looking for me at this very moment. If I were anyone else, and if she were anyone else…this wouldn't be a big deal. We're both adults.'_

But he was Ross and she was Rachel; the rules didn't apply.

Ross reasoned with himself and made the conscious decision to turn around. As he pivoted on his heel, he passed a dark alley without even glancing in it. He was being foolish, and he would wait for her by the bench.

He walked the block back to the bench, going against all his instincts told him to.

----

"What do you want from me?" Rachel cried out, touching her stomach. It was then that she realized the severity of the situation; she was pregnant, and anything that endangered her put the baby in harm's way. Tears escaped from her eyes as she thought. _'I am so stupid. So damn stupid for going with him. Everyone knows not to follow people you don't know into a dark place alone.'_

_'But you know him,'_ she took a meager stab at reason. Looking up into the eyes of someone she had once trusted so deeply made her realize that any given stranger would be a better accomplice in the alley than Dave.

"I don't want anything _from_ you, baby. I want _you_."

"What do you mean, you _want _me? Am I some kind of property that you own, Dave? Just another one of your girls that you can toss around like I'm nothing more than shit? I'm _nothing_ to you, and I never was."

He laughed and pulled her closer, gently stroking her stomach. It was the placidness of his touch that terrified her. "But you were _more_, baby…you were a damn good fuck."

"You disgust me," she snarled. "Completely and utterly disgust me." She leaned in closer, inhaling for the first time the strong scent of whiskey and rum that invaded his breath. "I don't know what happened to you, and to tell you the truth…I don't even care. All I know is how you hurt me, deceived me, and betrayed me. And I can't forgive you for that. _Ever_."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, baby."

"Then what are you asking for?"

"You."

She sighed as if this were a normal conversation, and not the pivotal point in her life. "Well, you can't have me. I'm taken. And you know what? That's just too bad for you."

He tightened his grip, realizing for the first time in his stupor that she was mocking him. Mocking him! Dave was not a man to be played with or mocked. "Are you saying I'm not _good_ enough for you?"

"I'm saying, David, that you are the most repulsive man I've ever met, and if you don't take your hands off me right this second…" Her voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. Soon he would realize that the show of bravery she had acted so well was a façade, just like everything else. She trembled now at his Cheshire-cat looking grin. When she said nothing, it was his turn to mock.

"Or what?"

"Or the minute I get back, I'll make sure that you spend the rest of your life in jail."

"Well, then what can I do? Hmmm…is it so much to ask for a little sympathy here? I see my ex-girlfriend in the street and I'm not even allowed to say hello to her? After she disappeared on me a few years ago, am I not even allowed to ask how she's been, to see how she's doing? To possibly rekindle a bit of love?" Dave smiled and breathed his rancid breath into her mouth. "Don't tell me you didn't miss me."

Protectively, she placed her quivering hand over her stomach. Though it was quite possibly over ninety degrees, she had never felt so cold. In an even voice, she said, "I didn't miss you at all."

He sneered at Rachel and then shoved her roughly against the brick wall. A cry of pain escaped her mouth. "Well, then I guess _I'll_ just have to make someone miss _you_."

----

In the distance, Ross was sure he heard a scream. No, it was more like a whimper.

He stood up and faced the strip of shops and waited for another cry. She had been gone for more than ten minutes. It only takes a minute to kill someone, Ross remembered. But why did his mind keep going back to the thought that she was in mortal danger? Surely there was some explanation.

When he heard the voice again, he knew one thing for sure.

She was in trouble.

----

Robert Overton stretched out in the strangely understated sunlight. Finally, he was on his lunch hour and wanted nothing more than just to lay down and take a good nap.

It was hard being a cop, and not many people knew this. They expected him to eat doughnuts all day while pretending to ward off wrongdoers.

Robert slowly placed his doughnut back into the Krispy Kreme box while he thought about his life.

Growing up, Robert had been a philanthropist of a child, always trying to help anyone in need. Most of the time he didn't realize that it was he who was in need, and Robert helped anyway.

Sometimes, he didn't like to let himself get too deep in thought. _"An idle mind is the devil's playground,"_ he always believed. Yet sometimes, when he would sit and bask in the rays of the sun, his mind would wander…and occasionally he didn't like where it wandered off.

The screams, the cries, the blood of the victims of crime…telling their families the news, going home a different person each night. His work was scarring, and his peaceful nature did not bode well with this.

He was suddenly jolted out of his reverie when a hurried man approached him. His hair was tussled, and he looked positively worried.

"Hey, there. Can I help you?" Robert stood up.

"Yeah, it's my- my girlfriend. I think she's in trouble."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, I was in the baby store…she said she wouldn't leave…she's gone now, though."

Robert smiled, humoring him. It was people like him that didn't let Robert get the job done. "Sir, do you think it's possible that she may have just gotten up for a minute?"

"No, you…you don't understand. She doesn't do that."

"She doesn't leave?"

"No, she's different. She'd stay forever, if she had the chance."

"Listen, she probably got up to go to the bathroom or something. If she doesn't turn up in a little while more, then you let me know." Robert settled back into his chair, not realizing that he epitomized all that he loathed.

"Maybe you'd be interested to know that she's pregnant. Six months. My baby."

"Well, congratulations. Come to think of it, she probably did go to the bathroom."

"And," Ross searched his mind for any information that might convince the policeman to help him. "Her ex-boyfriend used to beat her up, abuse her. Sometimes…sometimes she gets really upset and runs away a lot. But not this time. She promised that she wouldn't leave again."

Not much of what Ross said peaked his interest, yet Robert was interested in one aspect. "This ex-boyfriend…does he live around here?"

"Actually…Oh my God! He does." It was all forming together in Ross's mind.

"Well, do you know what he looks like?"

"No, I don't. But will you just come with me really quick? I heard some noises in the back alley, and I don't want to check them out alone."

"All right."

----

She was on the ground. Chunks of gravel dusted her hair. The fall wasn't hard, but Rachel felt a little sore.

She had been laying there for what seemed like forever, though it was only actually about fifteen minutes.

_'Oh my God. What am I going to do?'_

Dave's back was facing her now, and he seemed to be resting atop a trash dumpster. From the ground, Rachel could faintly make out the outline of a gun in his jacket pocket. A plan began to form in her mind now, a plan that would aide in her escape.

Carefully, she eased her way up and walked over so she was facing Dave. "Hey," she said coyly, leaning against the wall and trying to act as sexy as possible. "What are you doing?"

"W-what?" Her sudden change in attitude threw him for a loop.

"Oh, you know, I was just thinking. You really knocked some sense into me over there." It took every ounce of willpower she had not to scream.

"I told you, baby."

_'Rachel!'_ she mentally screamed. _'I have a name, you bastard, and it's Rachel!'_

"Yeah, I should have believed you."

"What can I say? I've always been right."

She leaned in towards him, concentrating on his pocket. "Yeah, you have been."

His dry lips contaminated her neck. "God, I've missed you, baby. You were the best I ever had."

Rachel lowered her hands by his waist and surreptitiously reached for the gun. "Uh-huh…"

"I'm glad you can see I'm right. I've always been right. Even when you were knocked up with that baby and you were so upset you lost it. Things sure did turn out better, though."

She grabbed the gun and kneed him in the groin, pushing him down to the ground. Tears stained her eyes as she wavered the gun warningly at his head. "Shut the fuck up, Dave."

"Baby, what're you-"

Her voice was straining and shook as it reached octaves beyond her control. "I have a name, you know. It's Rachel!"

"Rachel, calm down, calm down. Give me the gun, bab-Rachel."

"No. You stay right there." She leaned her head out the alley. "Help me! Somebody, please! Help!"

While her head was turned, Dave made his way back to his feet, startling her as she turned around.

"Don't move another muscle. I'll shoot you. I will."

"You won't shoot me," he snarled. "I was your first love, how could you do that to me?"

Tears ran down her face, but Rachel still stayed strong. "My first love? Really? You were my first mistake, my first heartbreak, my first abusive relationship, my first decision that changed the rest of my life."

"Give me the gun, Rachel."

"No."

"Give me the gun." He advanced in on her, bringing his hands closer.

"No."

"Don't make me take it from you."

As he reached in, Ross and Officer Overton approached the scene.

"Oh my God! Rachel!" Ross cried out, running towards her.

"Oh my God. He was right." Robert whispered in wonder as he pulled out his gun and handcuffs. "Hey, stop that!"

Dave raised his hand above Rachel, and it was then that her finger slipped.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

And he was gone.

----

_**Hehe, wow, I seriously don't know when to stop, do I? **_

_**Just a quick question: Is anyone still enjoying this story? Because I was just stuck in the biggest writer's block ever. I thought it was far too dramatic in an almost comical way, and seriously considered quitting it. But I stuck with it, so I hope someone likes it. :)**_

_**Let me know if I'm going overboard. **_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Mel**_


	13. At First Sight

**_I've got to be the worst updater ever, but here's a surprise: This is the last chapter!_**

**_It's cliche, corny, and even includes an excerpt from another chapter (which, by the way, I had every intention of including at the end anway, lol) but it's done. _**

**_Thank you everyone for sticking with me on this story. It's helped me grow a lot, I think, and I've got so many more fics planned out. I had to end this one some time, and now seemed right. Thank you all so very, very much. _**

**_I hope you enjoy!_**

"I killed a man today." She stared, stone faced, at the blank wall before her. "I killed a man today and I'm not even sorry. I shot him, three times in the head." She blinked, trying to squeeze out the tears shooting through her soul. Beneath a shadow of her corn silk bangs, below the surface of her iridescent blue eyes, above the pit of the child inside her, and inside the depths of her tarnished dreams, a tear fell. It clenched her heart inside her spirit, never reaching the world.  
----

The imprint of sweat remained ingrained in Ross's jeans, evidence of his anxiety. As she was in the interrogation room, he examined his hands with mock fascination as he tried insufficiently to push all regrets from his mind.

_'If only I would have gotten there faster...I never should have left her alone. She can be charged with murder, but it was in her own defense. That bastard deserved to die after what he did to her, but still...now she'll have to deal with this her entire life. Our entire life._

_Am I really thinking in terms of 'our' now? I mean, here we are in an L.A. police station, and I'm questioning the terms of our relationship. There it is again...our. It is our baby, our relationship, our life now._

_But should it be our guilt?_

_There should be no guilt at all, come to think of it. This man caused her more grief than is ever allowed. But it's human to feel this guilt, I suppose. And it's human to forgive.'_

Wringing his hands together, he wondered what brought him to this situation in the first place.

His brown eyes clouded over with fear and anguish, the result of an ill-fated combination.

_'I couldn't have saved her, even if I wanted to! It's Rachel, damn it! This whole mess didn't even happen when I was around, it began a long time ago. But I could have been there to stop her from shooting him, and I wasn't. I was buying that damn crib for her. It's all for her, my life is for her now. And if she's charged for this, God only knows what will happen. I don't think I can handle it. This is such a fucking mess, and it's partly my fault. When the hell did our lives get so fucked up?'_

Glancing at the vacant seats and empty faces surrounding him, Ross Geller learned what it was like to feel regret.  
----

Rain pounded atop the roof.

Thunder roared in the distance as Rachel stepped out of the room. Two police officers followed behind her, shaking their heads in dismay.

She rushed over to him as he scooped her into his arms.

Finally, the tears came.

"Shhh," he whispered, stroking the back of her hair. "It's going to be okay."

"Ross," she gripped him around the middle, holding on to him with all her strength. "I killed him. K-killed him! I shot another human being. And I am sorry, I told them that I wasn't but I am, I am! I didn't want to kill him like he killed Jenna, not like that. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve anything. He didn't deserve to live and he didn't deserve to die. But I'm the one who did it, Ross. I killed someone."

What do you say to a woman then? Do you tell her it's going to be okay like you always have? Do you cry alone with her, letting go of whatever ounce of dignity you have left? Do you kiss her gently and tell her you love her no matter what?

All concrete thoughts fleeing his mind, Ross pulled away from her, holding her at an arm's length.

At that moment, he remembered the night he met her and her affirmation with faith. He smiled slightly at how innocent she had been, how innocent they both had been.

"Ross," she pleaded breathlessly. "What am I going to do?" Collapsing into a nearby chair, she reached out to the air around her with her arms, desperate to hold onto something.

He clasped her hand and looked straight into her eyes, drowning in her sorrow and love, the mix of her life.

"What's going to happen?"

Stroking her hand, he whispered into her ear. "It's all going to be okay."  
----

_Three Months Later_

"Push, Rachel, you can do it!" Ross urged her on, sweating himself into a frenzy of nerves.

"No I can't, really. I need a break!" Matted hair against the pillow, she breathed in staggered gasps.

"Come on, Rachel," gritted Doctor Clemens. "A couple of more pushes should do it!"

Mere minutes later, newborn cries filled the room.

"Here she is!" Proclaimed the doctor. "Ten fingers, ten toes. All yours." She held up the baby for them to see before handing her to the nurse to clean the child off.

Sighing deeply, Rachel shut her eyes.

"You did it, sweetie." Ross smoothed back her hair. "You did it."

The last few months hadn't been easy, but they'd gotten by with the help of family and friends. Rachel wasn't charged with murder; it had been in her defense. But the guilt that racked her conscience was harder to rid of.

For now, though, they were happy.

For now, they were together.

"Okay, here she is!" Handing the wrapped baby to Rachel, Ross gasped.

He had a daughter.

"Oh my God, she's beautiful!" Tears streamed down Rachel's cheeks as she met her daughter for the first time.

"She looks just like you," mentioned Ross.

"Are you kidding? Her hair is dark like yours. And look at her mouth, that's totally yours, too! And her eyes..."

"She has your eyes," he softly whispered.

"You know," began Dr. Clemens, "the eye color of newborns tends to change as they age."

"No," Rachel shook her head firmly. "I think she'll have blue eyes."

"Well, it is possible," Dr. Clemens gave in. As the nurses left the room, Dr. Clemens edged over to the bed. "I just want to congratulate you two. In the short time I've known you both, you've been through so much. You truly deserve this baby."

"Thank you," Rachel blushed as she focused her attention on her new daughter, toying with her small fingers and stroking her button nose.

"Does she have a name yet?"

Ross coughed. "Well, uh..."

"We haven't really talked about it yet," she finished.

"Oh, I see. Well, I'll be back in a few minutes. A nurse should be here to do some routine things, but we'll give you two a minute."

"God, she's gorgeous..."

Tears streamed down Rachel's cheeks. "She is. And she's mine. Ours, I mean. But she's the baby that I never got to have before. And now...now she's here. I honestly never thought that I'd see this day, Ross." Kissing her daughter's forehead, a thought struck her. "Ross, you didn't get to hold her yet!"

"Oh. Yeah. I didn't." He didn't want to say it, but he was terrified to hold his own baby.

"Here," she lifted her arms up. Upon seeing his wide eyed terror, she giggled. "Just support her head. She doesn't bite."

And then she was there, in his arms. He exhaled deeply. Hairs on his arms rose, but the small bundle was able to warm him. Inside the pink blanket, she whimpered. "Shh, Amanda..."

"Amanda? Did you just call her Amanda?"

Blushing, Ross peered into the pile of blankets. "Uh...yeah."

"Mind if I ask why?" Laughed Rachel.

"Uh, I don't really know why. It just...came out. You know, back when I first found out we were having a baby, I looked at a long list of names. I know it's really common and everything, but I really liked the meaning."

"What would that be?"

"Love, or one who is loved," he said simply.

"I like it."

"Really?"

"Really," she grinned. "I think it fits her."

"Well, hi, Amanda," he whispered to her. "I'm your daddy."

He reached into her blankets and was surprised at her grip, and at the perfect way her tiny finger wrapped around his large one.

The doctor re-entered, followed by Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe.

"I brought some visitors," she smiled.

"Hey, guys," Rachel smiled. "This is Amanda."

A chorus of 'Hi Amandas' and 'Awws' rang through the air.

"Can I hold her?" Asked Monica.

Rather reluctantly, Ross handed her over.

"Oh, relax, you'll get to see her every day for the rest of your life practically!"

"Well, sometimes it's hard for new parents to part with their babies. They see so much of themselves in the child's eyes that it's almost like losing a part of their own spirit."

"Wow, that's...deep," added Joey. "And who are you?"

She laughed. "I'm Doctor Clemens, I delivered Amanda."

"Oh, okay. I guess you'd know."

As the others crowded around the baby, Ross made his way back over to Rachel. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Better," she smiled. "Much better."

"I wanted to do this in private, or I at least wanted to find a perfect way or time to do this in...but I couldn't. Each time I wanted to ask you, something came up. And half the time I couldn't work up my nerves to do it, so...here it goes." He pulled a small box from his pocket as she gasped. "I've never done this before, so I'm a little nervous. I don't have a speech prepared or anything. But you...you make me happier then I ever have been in my entire life. Before I met you, nothing was right. Granted, a lot has happened that hasn't been happy, but the important thing is that we made it through. We're going to make it through. So...I only have one question left for you and I think you know what it is. Will you?"

Tearfully, she reached into his arms and folded herself up within him. Kissing the base of his neck and then his lips, she locked her eyes with his. "I think you know the answer."

"Ummm...really, you may just want to tell me yes or no."

"Well," she playfully swatted his nose. "You didn't exactly tell me the question."

"Oh."

"So you can go first."

He took a deep breath. "Okay, Rach, will you marry me?"

"If I was going to say no, you know, we wouldn't have had to redo this."

"I thought you were giving me a definite answer this time!"

"I did!"

"No, c'mon. Just tell me yes or no."

"Are we really the yes or no type of couple, Ross?"

"Huh?"

"Really, we're not exactly the type of people that do things easily, are we? We're not black or white, yes or no. We're like all of the shades of the rainbow and absolutely."

"I'm going to hide the ring," he joked.

"I didn't get to even give you my answer!"

"Okay, okay." He reached for her hand, grinning like a fool. "Yes or no?"

"Absolutely."  
----

Four Years Later

"Amanda, come here, sweetie!" Rachel called out to her four year old daughter.

"What, Mommy?" She whined, brushing her brown locks from her crystal blue eyes.

"Did you clean out your toy box yet?"

"No," she pouted. "Tell me again why I gotta give 'way all my toys."

"You're not giving them away, Manda, you're giving them a new home. Riley will be able to play with your toys soon, so we're moving them to his room," she said, referring to their six month old son.

"Fine," she shuffled her tiny feet against the shiny wooden floors of their large Scarsdale home. "But whenever Brooke comes to play with me, can we play with the toys? Cause Auntie Monica said that Brookie is younger than me so I can share my old toys with her, too."

"She did, did she?" Rachel raised her eyebrows. Brooke was Monica and Chandler's three year old daughter. Adorable, she was, but she had the most mischievous demeanor. The last time Brooke had been over to play, they decided to "paint" Amanda's room rainbow colored with a new box of crayons. "Well, maybe next time you can go play at Brooke's house. I think I remember hearing Auntie Monica say that she wanted to paint Brooke's room. Why don't you look for the crayons, Manda?"

"Kay, Mommy! When will Daddy be home?"

"About thirty minutes ago," she muttered. Facing her daughter, she smiled. "Any time now, sweetie."

Gripping the baby monitor in her hand, she flopped down on the couch. "Ross, where are you?" she groaned.

As if on cue, he burst through the door. "Hey, I'm home."

Without even moving from her perch on the couch, Rachel waved to him. "You're late. Again."

"Sorry, sweetie," he walked over to her, kissing up her arms.

"Why were you late?"

"I had to stay a little later at the office."

"More dinosaur bones to assemble?" She made a stab at a joke.

"Yeah. How are the kids?"

"The usual. Riley is asleep, Manda is cleaning out her toy box."

"Monica called, Brooke wants to come play tomorrow."

"Can they do it at her house? The painters just finished repainting Manda's room," sighed Rachel.

"Yeah, I'll call her."

"Ugh," she groaned.

"Did I miss something?"

"No," she shook her head. "I've just had a hard day, that's all. And I sort of hoped you'd make it home on time tonight. I just needed some comforting or something." Laughing somewhat bitterly, Rachel brushed tears away from her eyes. "It sounds really selfish when I say it out loud, but I feel like you don't love me as much anymore. I mean, you work all the time, and I'm always here with the kids. We never have any time to ourselves anymore, it seems."

"Aw, Rach," he rubbed her back as she folded back into him, becoming as much a part of him as she was herself. "You'll never know how much I love you."

"Say more things like that," she sighed contentedly, feeling safe and happy.

"You're beautiful and strong. You're loving, Rach, the most loving person I know. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special. I love how you are with Manda and Riley, how you are with everyone."

"Okay, you can stop now if you want."

"No, I mean all of it, Rach. And I'll stop working late, it's just been hard lately, with the kids and the house and everything."

She sat up, facing him. "Do you remember what you said to me when we left the police station that one day?"

He combed his memories. "I think I told you that I loved you and that you were beautiful."

Rachel shook her head. "No, you told me that we were going to be okay, we'd make it through no matter what."

"I did?" He grinned. "Wow, that was good."

"Yeah, it surprised me too," she joked. "But seriously, I think it applies to this, too. To everything. I'm just being selfish and I want you all to myself all of the time."

Stroking her leg suggestively, he smirked. "That doesn't have to be a problem, you know..."

"Ross," she moaned. "The kids are here!" She made no attempt to pull away.

"They're still young enough not to understand." He raised an eyebrow.

Upon seeing this, she grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs to their room where they made love.

When it was almost over, her eyes locked with his. "I love you."

Breathlessly, he smiled. "Me too."

"Ever since the day I met you."

"I know."

In a blur of sound, color, and passion, it was over. She kissed the top of his head as both their eyes closed and their breathing became in unison. "No, really. It was like love at first sight."

_Fin  
----_

_**Thank you!**_

_**Mel :)**_


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